7 assertive techniques to resolve conflicts

Assertive conflict resolution techniques can be used in all settings of life. In this space we show you 7 ways to solve problems effectively.

Last update: September 29, 2021

Assertiveness is an adaptive way of expressing ourselves. When we are able to communicate in this way we have an advantage. In this article we will review 7 assertive techniques to resolve conflicts. These resources can be used both to solve problems and to prevent them.

Importance of assertiveness to solve problems

The assertive techniques to resolve conflicts that we will see below can be understood as an emotional filter. Those people who manage to manage their emotions reach a good level of assertiveness.

When conflict occurs it is important to stay calm and be assertive about the problem situation. We must understand that we are not able to avoid all inconveniences. Difficult situations will eventually arise in which we must demonstrate our character.

Assertiveness increases the probability of reaching favorable solutions. No matter what conflict we have in front of us, we will be able to face it if we remain calm. In this sense, it is understood that the importance of assertive coping styles is to reduce the intensity of problems.

We cannot prevent bad things from happening, but we can choose how to act when faced with those events..

Assertiveness techniques to solve problems

Now that we know the concept of assertiveness, let's see some assertive techniques to resolve conflicts. If we apply these strategies constantly, we will become less conflictive people.

1. Recognize our communication style

Much of the conflicts are the product of poor communication styles. The main thing that an assertive person should achieve is identify the way you say things. Sometimes we make the mistake of attacking others with our comments.

It is advisable to do an introspection exercise and review the way we communicate the needs. If we realize that we are hostile when speaking, we must begin to change it.

The way you express your opinions is important. A bad tone can overshadow the message.


2. Take into account the needs of others

During conflicts it is common for people to focus on their needs, forgetting about the others involved. This behavior is negative and only promotes hostility. What we must do is understand the needs of others and try to reach points of mutual agreement.

Assertiveness involves being empathetic. This means that you have to put yourself in the place of others. In this way, we avoid value judgments and improve our interpersonal relationships.

3. Modulate speech

In addition to taking care of the content of what we say, it is also necessary to modulate speech. It is logical to think that we do not avoid any conflict if we go through life screaming. This means that, even when we are right, we must express ourselves with a correct tone of voice.

4. Practice active listening

Active listening is when we pay attention to the message they want to convey to us. Thus, it is important to avoid responding hastily. It is an indispensable component in assertive communication.

During a conflict with another person we tend to listen only to respond. People, when we are upset, come to think that we are the owners of absolute reason. It is important to avoid arrogance and allow others to make us their proposals.

5. Propose alternatives instead of giving orders

Conflict resolutions are born from inclusion and not from imposition. When we give alternatives we create an environment of unity.

In this way, when people do not agree with our ideas, it will be easier for us to accept it. It is important to understand when others disagree with us.

6. Strengthen emotional intelligence

The techniques that we have reviewed are easier to apply when we strengthen emotional intelligence. This is regulate emotions in real time. To achieve this goal we must recognize the triggers. In other words, knowing how I feel and why.

All emotions are natural. There are no good or bad emotions; We can all be sad or upset. What makes the difference is the way you handle those emotions. The best way to resolve a conflict will be not allow them to influence our behavior.



7. Broken record technique

This technique is quite specific and we can use it in any interpersonal conflict. It is about repeating a phrase calmly and without raising your voice. Obviously, what we say must convey a concern, but we will do so in an adaptive way.

We could use this resource in a couple discussion. If we feel that we are not taken into account by the other person, we would say so repeatedly and firmly, but without being hostile. For instance, "I feel like we never take my needs into account". We repeat it, being able to vary the words a bit, but without losing sight of the message.

This technique is effective when there is a subject that we want to touch and our partner avoids it. Let's keep in mind that it's not about forcing a conversation, but of emphasize something that is important to us.

Assertiveness allows for productive dialogues that reach agreements and understandings.

Are there unresolved conflicts?

Some situations get out of our hands and there is nothing we can do to change them. However, this is not to say that there is no solution.

It depends on the way you want to solve the conflict. Sometimes walking away from something we can't change is the best solution. We will have to be assertive to understand which is the best way.