What does it mean to dream about your ex?

Discover six reasons why you have dreams with your ex. All of these must be interpreted based on your experiences of reality.

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Elena Sanz on December 03, 2021.

Last update: December 03, 2021

Dreaming about your ex is very common. Many people believe that this is an extraordinary act, and they even become concerned when it is a repetitive experience. According to the researchers, between 17% and 35% of people have dreams about their ex-partner.

Although most dreams of this type are related to the immediate previous partner, they can also be of anyone you have had in your life. If you don’t stop dreaming about your ex, we propose six possible interpretations of what may be hiding behind the curtain.

Interpretations of dreaming about your ex

There are relationships that we bury in the past and we don’t want to remember. There are also others that we treasure with love for all the shared experiences. Whether you are in a new relationship or not, dreaming about your ex can be a bit unnerving.. Let’s see what it can mean taking reality as a reference.

1. Longing for the moments you spent together

Yes, the first interpretation of dreaming about your ex is related to the moments that you both enjoyed in the past. Whether you consciously remember them or not, these moments are still there and they can float up unexpectedly.

It takes an external stimulus to remind you of a common experience. A color, a smell, an image, a taste or any type of external stimulus can consciously or unconsciously awaken a memory of the past. This, how could it be otherwise, can materialize in your dreams.

The relationship is most evident when it comes to a close memory or when you voluntarily try to keep it alive. Although the assessment that you make from the present of your relationships may vary, it is inevitable that some of these are peppered with good times. Aside from the bad guys, these are the ones that will make you yearn for her.

2. Now you are alone

If you feel lonely, you may very much miss the pleasant moments you had with your ex.

The research that we referred to at the beginning indicates that more than a third of people have frequent dreams about their partners. If you are single now, it is natural that you dream of your immediately previous partner.

As we have already pointed out, and apart from the bad moments, you can always rescue good experiences from any relationship. These make you rethink whether or not it was a good idea for the two to go their separate ways. In turn, bad luck in love since then can further strengthen this belief.

Be that as it may, not being formally in a stable relationship can make you remember the previous one. This will be further reinforced if you have been feeling lonely in recent weeks, have few friends, or even if you have a lot of free time to play with your mind. Obsession can also explain these dreams.

3. You have unresolved feelings with your ex.

This is one of the interpretations of dreaming about your ex that fit many experiences. By unresolved feelings we refer to everything that has prevented you from closing the relationship cycle. They can be, among many other things, the following:

  • There was no mutual agreement at the time of ending the relationship.
  • You still have things to say to your ex.
  • There were internal problems that were never discussed.
  • The relationship ended in the worst way.
  • You feel that explanations are still owed to you.
  • He or she still has things that belong to you.

The above is just one example of the conflicts that have asked you to close the cycle, leave it in the past and fix your gaze on the present. When this happens, it not only haunts you occasionally during wakefulness, but also does so during your rest. This is why you can dream of your ex.

4. You feel sexual or emotional desires

Another possible explanation for dreaming about your ex is that you have sexual or emotional desires towards him or her. Yes, this can last regardless of whether you have no interest in resuming the relationship, regret that it ended, or that several years have passed since it.

There are many explanations for this apparent sexual or emotional longing. For example, some researchers highlight the role of sexual nostalgia. This can be manifested by sexual dissatisfaction in the present (or emotional), singleness or a high degree of attachment, among other variables.

Other studies indicate that dreaming of an ex is more likely when your current relationship is very recent or when you feel general dissatisfaction with it (not only sexual). These experiences are not extraordinary, quite the opposite. On average, men are more likely to have dreams related to sexual encounters with an ex-partner.

5. Have you seen your ex recently

Those who go a long time without seeing their former partner may experience some past or desired events in dreams.

Returning to the real catalysts that can make you dream of your ex, we highlight the following: having seen your ex in the last few days. We are not only talking about doing it physically, but also virtually through social networks.

His image can awaken you a series of memories that can penetrate your dreams. Regardless of the circumstances of the breakup, you may have dreams with your ex that explore both the good and the bad times.

6. Your current relationship is similar to the one you had with your ex

Finally, it is also possible that you have dreams with your ex because your current relationship is similar to the one you had then. Whether in its positives or negatives, you may find consciously or unconsciously parallels with your other relationship.

It is even likely that some forms of your current partner remind you of the previous one. How he expresses himself, dresses or acts are just one example. Be that as it may, through this connection you can recall episodes shared in the past, and that these manifest themselves in dreaming about your ex.

As you can see, there is nothing wrong with dreaming about your ex, it is part of the grieving process, the breakup or simply the management of emotions that we all have to deal with.

If you think you have a behind-the-scenes unresolved issue, feel free to find a way to fix it. This only if the dream experiences are unpleasant or in any case inappropriate for what you now want in your life.

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