The 8 enemies of a relationship

Interpersonal relationships are complex, even more so when it comes to love ties. The enemies of a relationship can appear in many ways within the daily dynamics of people.

In this article we will review what they are the 8 main causes why a relationship can become conflictive. In addition, we will give some recommendations to improve coexistence in general terms.

8 enemies of a relationship

The complications that a love relationship goes through can vary in their intensity and regularity. However, it is an issue that deserves attention, since its proper management is key so that none of the parties involved is affected.

1. Maladaptive styles of communication

The communication It is the fundamental pillar of any relationship. If we are unable to make others understand what we are trying to express, we will have to deal with one of the enemies of a relationship.

Bad communication becomes a difficult enemy to overcome when you do not have tolerance and respect for the other person. In the cases of couples, any situation may seem more serious than it really is.

Poor communication significantly deteriorates the relationship.

2. Try to change the other person

When we start a relationship with someone we must be aware that we cannot control everything that concerns that person. It is normal that our partner does not share the same interests as us. So if we want him to always behave as we please, we will have conflicts when he refuses to please us.

3. Emotional dependency

Emotional dependence is another of the enemies of a relationship. This situation may take us by surprise. Se deals with the need to be with the partner to feel good in general terms. That is to say, all of our happiness becomes dependent on the other person.

When we are emotionally dependent, we cannot have healthy relationships, since we want the other to always stay by our side no matter the circumstances. The healthy love it must be free, it cannot be an imposition.

Read: What Happens After Overcoming Emotional Dependence

4. Emotional manipulation

The handling, when it is emotional, it is subtle. In general, the victim of this has a strong emotional dependence on the affective manipulator. It is about accepting guilt or responsibilities that are not oursAll to keep the relationship "stable" or "on good terms."

5. Mistrust

If confidence is affected by any situation, couples enter a downward curve regarding their stability. Distrust may or may not be justified, but when it exists it tends to bring other conflicts with it.

Distrustful couples will be in constant search of some kind of proof that allows them to demonstrate that they were right to distrust the other. Often times it is lies in the relationship those that lead to loss of trust.

6. The lies

A healthy relationship can never be built on lies. Eventually, coexistence will become unsustainable and the truths will begin to be noticed. It is not about being perfect and not lying, it is a matter of empathy for the other person. When you love someone, you shouldn't be fooled.

7. Selfishness

We should all try to have a good self esteem and being able to put ourselves first when they are mistreating us in some way. Even so, in couple relationships, care must be taken not to fall into selfishness. The idea of ​​a relationship is to work as a team to solve problems.

There is a fine line between being selfish and having the ability to value ourselves. When we are selfish we do not take into account the needs of the other, because we always seek personal benefit in the relationship; However, when we value ourselves we can live in harmony with our partner without belittling ourselves.

8. Jealousy

Being jealous of your partner is a natural behavior, no one can avoid it forever. The problem with jealousy occurs when it becomes compulsive and does not respond to logic. People who are excessively jealous of their partner have an intense distrust of the partner. fidelity of the other.

Compulsive jealousy can lead to serious problems for your relationship.

Tips for dealing with your partner's enemies

In the following list of tips we will see some ways to deal with the enemies of the relationship. Any couple who want to stay together should be able to internalize the best ways to live together. Let's see.

1. Assertive communication

Assertive communication styles are the cornerstone of any good relationship. Speaking while putting empathy into practice, and prioritizing the way we express ourselves, is key to a harmonious dynamic of coexistence. In the same way, we must apply active listening to avoid misinterpreting opinions.

It may interest you: Tips for non-violent communication: is it possible?

2. Avoid addressing several topics at the same time

The healthiest thing for couples is to learn to solve one problem at a time and avoid overloading yourself with stressful situations. The idea is to focus on solving a conflict without bringing new issues to the conversation that will contribute nothing to the solution of the current issue.

3. Respect

Respect goes beyond not offending the partner. Respect is about taking into account the ideas and opinions of the other regardless of whether they are contrary to their own. To the extent that we are able to accept that our partner may think differently from us in relation to certain issues, we will be closer to achieving a healthy relationship.

4. Shows of affection

A common mistake in relationships is diminishing displays of affection when angry about a situation. During couple conflicts, sometimes no one wants to be the one to take the first step towards reconciliation, for not giving the arm to twist with respect to their points of view. Thus, only greater discord is generated between the two.

The most advisable thing is to create an environment conducive to a rapprochement that allows clarifying the situation and making the relationship return to its natural course. The displays of affection are a good alternative for this to happen; from an unexpected hug to a kind words can serve as a bridge to bonding.

Relationships are a system

Like any interpersonal relationship, couples make up a system that must function adaptively for the benefit of the members. Self-love and good self-esteem must coexist in harmony with tolerance and respect for the loved one.