The 7 most common sexual fantasies

Sexual fantasies are very common experiences in our mind, regardless of whether they are fulfilled or not. Today we bring you 7 of the most frequent.

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Elena Sanz on November 17, 2021.

Last update: November 17, 2021

A sexual fantasy are those mental representations we generate regarding sex. Men and women develop them equally, and they are more common than you might think. In fact, we all fantasize about a sexual experience at some time; whether this regulation or not. There are many types, but today we have gathered 7 most common sexual fantasies.

There are many misunderstandings about what a sexual fantasy is. It is often associated with infidelity, amoral thoughts, or that they are all dirty or twisted. Nothing is further from reality. They begin at puberty and extend throughout adulthood. You can have them when you are in a formal relationship or when you are single. We will talk about this later.

What are the most common sexual fantasies?

It is not easy to determine what exactly an unusual fantasy is. According to the researchers, the discussion should focus not so much on its content as on the effect it has on the individual. This is why cataloging the most common sexual fantasies is not easy, especially when we take into account that men and women develop different representations.

Experts have found that men’s fantasies are more active, while women are more receptive or passive. They have divided them into four large groups:

  • Exploratory: such as group sex, experiences with sexes other than sexual orientation, promiscuity, and so on.
  • Intimate: such as kissing, oral sex, outdoor sex and the like.
  • Impersonal: such as the use of objects to achieve pleasure or to observe others in a sexual act.
  • Sadomasochist: spanking or being spanked and other experiences in the same order.

All of these sexual fantasies are considered normal. The evidence indicates that cultural aspects, such as religion, can condition the type of fantasy that people in a society can have. With all this as a preamble, we present you the 7 most common fantasies.

1. Group sex

Group sex is one of the most common sexual fantasies. With it we mean both orgies (that is, encounters of more than four people) and threesomes. In fact, when you think of a normative sexual fantasy, if such a thing exists, you usually think of a threesome or an orgy.



This is a fantasy shared by both men and women, one that rarely materializes in reality. Fear of society’s judgment, partner’s rejection, and other variables are an obstacle to the consequence of fantasy. However, keep in mind that this is something common in all of them: They are mostly meant to wander the mind.

2. Have sex in public

Due to the possibility of being found, sex in public brings some adrenaline to the experience.

In the Anglo-Saxon world, this practice is called dogging, in Spanish it is known as ‘cancaneo’ (although the previous term is preferred). It brings together any sexual or group activity that is done in the eyes of society, in a way that adds to the condition of being able to be seen and judged.



In fact, it is the latter that fuels the fantasy. The adrenaline rush that occurs in the body is translated by many as pleasure. An airplane cubicle, a secluded area of ​​a beach, a car parked in the center of a city and others are an ideal space for those who bet on this fantasy. It is also known as cruising.

3. Dominate or be dominated

Sadomasochism is counted among the most popular sexual fantasies, one that draws from the sources of sadism and masochism. Sadomasochistic sex, words more, words less, consists of the pleasure of being dominated or dominated.

Many think that fantasies of this type imply a certain extremism, but this is not always the case. Sadomasochistic sex has different degrees, so the less intense degrees are also considered as such. Everything that has to do with a certain type of submission or domination, and that this involves a percentage of pain, can be considered sadomasochistic.

In this way, it is not correct to associate this practice with situations of violence, aggression or non-consensual sex. There are those who find pleasure in them, in a way that attracts the interest of many through sexual fantasies. For example, scratching and spanking are a mild type of sadomasochistic experience. (so they are very common).

4. Sex with a stranger

Having sex with a stranger casually is another of the sexual fantasies that we cannot fail to mention. Includes friends with benefits and one-night stands. They can arise when the person has a stable partner, and it does not always do so in a context of sexual dissatisfaction.

According to the researchers, those who materialize these fantasies tend to report higher levels of pleasure, and they do so away from an intimate relationship. That is, the pleasure arises because everything about that person is unknown; not like it happens with partner sex in which there is a high degree of intimacy.

5. Have sex with an ex-partner

Experts have found that almost half of couples who end a relationship have one or more sexual encounters in the future. Therefore, having sex with an ex-partner is something that many people materialize in reality.

Of course, we refer to them in the context of years after the relationship; or when right now you are in the middle of a stable relationship. In this case, not only pleasure comes into play, but also the emotional bond between the two. This can make the meeting more attractive or ideal, so it is one of the most common sexual fantasies.

6. Homosexual experiences

Exploring sexuality with people of the same sex (or the opposite, for those who consider themselves homosexual) can be very rewarding.

Homosexual fantasies are relatively common in people. Men and women have them equally, which in some cases can raise questions about sexual identity or sexual orientation. We have already alluded to a threesome and an orgy in previous sections, but these do not always involve 100% explicit homosexual experiences.

As with previous sexual fantasies, this one revolves around pleasure. Also, because of the curiosity that exists in the middle. It is more prevalent than people realize and, as we noted in the beginning, it is not considered an unusual, strange, or just plain weird fantasy.

7. Sex with a theatrical component

Finally, sex with some kind of theatrical component closes our list. Also known as role plays, they consist of developing a fictional role in a consensual way. For example, patient-doctor or teacher-student. It is a very broad experience that allows us to integrate or not sexual fetishes.

In turn, this fantasy can imitate scenes or ideas collected from movies, series or any type of fictional component. They are very common and allow to include variety in the routine of couples. The fantasy requires the participation of both, so that sometimes it is repressed by the fear of being judged.

The sexual fantasies that we have listed are the most common, but there are dozens and dozens of them. They are interesting to the extent that they generate pleasure, and sometimes there is no clear intention to make it happen. Sometimes fantasy is ideal in the head; but it is avoided to materialize it by not thinking that it will be perfect or because of the prejudice that will arise in between.

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