Social intelligence: 4 tips to develop it

You've probably heard of emotional intelligence or social intelligence. It's about the ability to perceive, express, manage and understand all kinds of emotions; not only their own, but also those of others. Having it will make you capable of self-control in your own emotions and knowing how to act in various situations.

It is not something that is inherited, but is learned over the years. It has a lot to do with the ability to communicate and relate to others in an empathetic and assertive way. Can it be developed? Yes of course! Let's see some tips that can help you build it.

Characteristics of social intelligence

How to recognize a person with social intelligence? In general, those who have developed it are those who can communicate and work with others. This, starting from recognizing their emotions and knowing how to deal with them.

For the most part, those who master it can be found in areas of social development, such as sales, advertising, team leaders, teachers. Look now at other typical characteristics described by psychologist Daniel Goleman in his book "Social Intelligence."

Social cognition

This ability It consists of knowing the rules that are handled within a group. It is there that a person with social intelligence can influence them.

Synchrony also converges here, since it is possible to identify and interpret the non-verbal signs of the people that make up this group.

Groups have their own dynamics that people with social intelligence quickly identify.

Empathy and attunement

As we mentioned before, one of the main characteristics is that you have the ability to easily detect what emotions others are feeling. On the other hand, the typical attunement of this intelligence refers to an active and complete listening, so that the person can understand and share everything the other feels.

Read also: 3 social skills that we should develop more

Charisma and personal presentation

Do you sometimes feel that you cannot present yourself to others with a proper impression? Well, people who have developed emotional intelligence they know perfectly how to introduce themselves as circumstances require. This is evidenced by the charisma they spontaneously possess.


And finally, the psychologist Goleman indicates in his book that the ability to influence is essential to recognize someone who already knows how to master social intelligence. They are capable of awakening feelings such as trust and warmth in others, so they can certainly lead them to make some specific decisions.

Importance of social intelligence

According to an investigation published by the CEU Training Center, located in Spain, the importance of social intelligence lies in the strength these people develop for leadership. It is assured that, although it is a type of intelligence that cannot be measured by IQ, without it we would not exist.

This assertion is due to the fact that this type of intelligence has worked so that human beings can have a greater capacity for adaptation. Therefore, it allowed to have achieved different achievements throughout history. Great leaders need to develop it in order to penetrate better in groups.

According to the aforementioned psychologist, Daniel Goleman (1998), it is increasingly clear that what determines better job performance, and even the choice of certain people for specific positions, is not the IQ or their curriculum, but ability to develop with others and with themselves.

In this sense, social intelligence aims to the quality of life of the person who develops it can increase, Because you will have more tools at hand that will allow you to create successful relationships.

4 tips to develop social intelligence

Remember that social skills are, today, one of the most appreciated talents in business. Although social intelligence is spontaneous in some people, you can also develop it through the following tips and recommendations.

1. Try to look further

Those who have developed social intelligence can be recognized as social observers. This characteristic is based on knowing how to analyze the environment, the gestures, the people around and how they relate to each other. Believe it or not, non-verbal language is capable of communicating more than words.

2. Practice empathy

Empathy is based on the affective participation of a person in a reality alien to her, or as the saying goes: "Put yourself in the shoes of others". It is not that you are a kind of emotional sponge and absorb the problems of others, but that you can understand what it is that others feel.

Discover: 4 tips to speak honestly and empathetically

3. Listen in a participatory way

The ability to listen in a participatory way, or what is known as active listening, it's not so common. Those who develop emotional intelligence are excellent listeners, keeping important data from the conversation and making the other person feel good. This is where a bond of empathy, trust and warmth is born.

From now on try to pay more attention to problems or situations in general. It's not about pretending you do it, but about actually getting involved in what they are telling you.

Active listening is a difficult trait to practice, but necessary to connect with others.

4. Charisma is essential

Have you heard that such a person is charismatic? Charisma is an ability of some people to attract or fascinate. However, it is not something you are born with, but can be developed over the years.

These are some characteristics of someone charismatic:

  • Smile.
  • Listen without interrupting others.
  • Give your opinion with respect, but without trying to convince at all costs.
  • Acknowledge mistakes.

Charismatic people tend to be admired by others, and even become patterns to follow in social groups. To be more charismatic, you need to put your complaints aside and start using friendly language.

Observe and pay attention to your surroundings

Of course, these tips alone will not help you develop social intelligence. It is essential that you consistently implement all of them at the same time and that you pay more attention to your surroundings. You will see that with a good attitude and sufficient motivation you will be an expert in small details.

Focus on studying social situations and also establishing what your behavior is like within them. It will be very helpful to become a natural observer.