Sexual rejection: how does it affect us?

Sexual rejection can be a source of many concerns, and has multiple psychological consequences. Today we expose you the main ones.

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Elena Sanz on November 23, 2021.

Last update: 23 November, 2021

Sex is a central component of any couple relationship. The frequency of encounters varies throughout the relationship as it matures, and there is not always a balance between the sexual interests of both. In this sense, sexual rejection is a relatively common practice, one that has multiple causes and of course consequences.

Sexual rejection is a condition for the satisfaction of the couple, not to mention the repercussions it has on the psychological level of the rejected. It all depends on the context, although if it is an experience that is repeated on a recurring basis, the consequences will lean to the negative side. Today we will see how sexual rejection affects you according to the experts.

6 consequences of sexual rejection

Some experts have determined scales to measure the impact of sexual rejection. In general, the four most common possibilities are understanding, resentment, insecurity and temptation. These attitudes are manifested according to the context, as well as the frequency with which sexual rejection occurs.

For example, research published in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships In 2018 he found that the response of the rejected partner varied according to the attitude of the rejection. When the rejection is done in a positive context, the counterpart is more likely to develop understanding.. Dissatisfaction levels are lower in these cases.

A positive rejection refers to experiences that are made in a more communicative and friendly context. The opposite is not explaining the rejection, being rude and even hurtful. The study found that dissatisfaction levels increased when betting on having sex to avoid disappointing the partner.

Along the same lines, some studies have found that the reassuring behavior of the partner can help to better assimilate rejection. With this in mind, keep in mind that the consequences of sexual rejection are conditioned by the attitude your partner takes when rejecting you. In any case, we present you 6 most frequent sequels.

1. Low self-esteem

Sexuality is an important part of our essence, and when it is affected it is easy for it to deteriorate the emotional terrain.

The first consequence that is generated in some people when suffering from sexual rejection is low self-esteem. This is manifested when you suffer from negative sexual rejection. When it happens a couple of times in a row, you are likely to start to conjecture what are the causes that are incentivizing that rejection.

The first thing you may think is that your partner is not enjoying sex, that you no longer seem attractive, that he was not having as much fun as you thought and that the pleasure has simply disappeared when being intimate. Of course, all of this can lead to low self-esteem.

2. Resentment towards your partner

Another frequent sequel that some assume after a sexual rejection is an attitude of resentment towards the partner. It will be looked for pay with the same currency in a later action. It can be done on the sexual plane, rejecting her in the next meeting, or assuming other actions or behaviors that arouse the same feelings.

Needless to say, this is a direct path to dissatisfaction in the relationship. Far from assuming an attitude of this type, the important thing is to talk with your partner, so that together you can find the causes of rejection. If you act resentful, you will hurt both her and the relationship itself.

3. Doubts about your partner’s love

Although some relate the rejection only from the sexual point of view (that is, with dissatisfaction in bed), others transfer their motives to the relationship in general. You may come to think that your partner no longer loves you, that he is feeling doubts about it or that he is even being unfaithful.

As in all cases, suspicions are greater when the rejection is negative. Also when there are conflicts, fights or suspicions that the relationship is not at its best.. As expected, all of this contributes to conflict, estrangement, insecurities and fights within the relationship.

4. Hostile behavior

Hostile reactions are also relatively common in response to sexual rejection. Researchers have found that men take this attitude more frequently, one that can even lead to physical aggression. On the contrary, women tend to manifest feelings of guilt (they have been rejected for something they have done or do wrong).

Hostile behaviors are manifested not only physically, but also verbally. The hostile attitude can have different degrees, and of course trigger psychological and physical consequences for the other party. Of course, any hostile behavior is unjustified, regardless of the nature of your partner’s sexual rejection.

5. Unfaithful behavior

One of the most obvious consequences of constant sexual rejection is infidelity, both occasional and sustained.

As we pointed out at the beginning, external temptations are a common behavior in the face of recurrent rejection. Those who feel rejected may come to seek satisfaction outside of the relationship, especially when negative rejections occur.

Be it virtual flirtations or actually consummating the act physically, it is not so uncommon for some to choose infidelity. Of course, those who engage in these practices believe that they are justified and may even maintain them after sexual life with the partner has resumed.

6. Ideas about ending the relationship

At the beginning of this post we pointed out that sex is a central component of couple relationships. The researchers note that changes in sexual satisfaction lead to overall partner dissatisfaction, so you may also think is to terminate this.

According to some experts, people tend to overestimate the impact of sexual rejection when intimate encounters are rare. On the contrary, they tend to underestimate it when sexual encounters are more frequent. This is a variable that cannot be ignored when analyzing the consequences of sexual rejection.

Rejection is not in itself a bad thing, especially when it is an isolated or one-off event. It all depends on how it is done, in a way that prevents the other party from developing assumptions that do not take place.

The degree of sexual interest varies for many reasons (hormonal changes, stress, anxiety, problems at work, financial concerns, and so on), so you have to be understanding at all times.

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