Sex phobia: how to overcome erotophobia?

Do you always make excuses for not having sex? Thinking about sex scares you? You may suffer from what is known as “erotophobia.”

Last update: January 01, 2022

Feeling afraid of spiders or closed spaces is something that we assume as normal. However, at the moment in which we mention the phobia of sex, in most cases there are strange looks. Is it possible to dread having relationships with a partner? Although it seems implausible, the answer is yes.

Erotophobia appears progressivelyWell, it is the fears, insecurities and expectations that gradually give shape to this phobia of sex. This will manifest itself at some point, when it is least expected.

How is erotophobia manifested?

Sex phobia has more to do with intimacy than with the act itself. In fact, people who have been diagnosed with erotophobia can masturbate and have sexual desire. However, the problem appears when they are going to have relationships with their partner.

The most common symptoms that should be interpreted as an alarm signal are boredom at the possibility of having sex, feelings of revulsion and discomfort, making excuses for not having physical contact. In some cases, people with a sex phobia avoid having a partner.

Tips to overcome sex phobia

From Statista they report that Between 2011 and 2017, the number of registered phobias was almost 200,000 cases in Spain alone. This is not a high figure, although we still have to wait for the latest information to draw conclusions.

Although it seems impossible, and in fact people with sex phobia see it that way, there are ways to overcome any fear you have. But it should be clear that this will not happen overnight. You will have to put a lot of effort, desire and be patient.

Erotophobia is more a fear of intimacy than the act itself, so we try to avoid the moment of closeness.

Questioning beliefs about sex

Expectations about sex can cause erotophobia. A person who has not yet had a sexual encounter with anyone may be afraid that it will hurt or hurt. To avoid this ending in frustration and limits to desire, it is essential to contrast the information.

There are sexologists who can answer all the questions that a person may have. Taking friends’ experiences as absolute truths, for example, is not reasonable.

Overcome trauma

Many people have some type of trauma and the phobia of sex can be related to a painful experience, due to a vaginismus problem in the past, for example, or an extremely painful first sexual intercourse. To solve it you have to go to a professional.

There are psychologists who are experts in trauma of this type who can contribute to significantly improve sexual relations. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is one of the most recommended, although there are so many possibilities that the important thing is that each one chooses the type of therapy that can work best for them.

Learn to relax in sex

Sage advice is to learn to relax in sex. For it tantric sex can be of great help. It is a slow way of maintaining relationships in which attention is paid to smells, to touch, to the sensations of the body.

The rush of day to day, stress or anxiety can make having sex mechanical, full of fear and that we do not savor. Therefore, maintaining relationships slowly and calmly is an option. The weekend is a good time for it.

If there is no relaxation, it is difficult to achieve pleasure and enjoyment in relationships. It is something that must be implemented consciously and little by little.

When to seek professional help if I have a sex phobia?

It is not uncommon to find problems in the consultations of psychologists and sexologists that are related to the frustrations and insecurities that appear during sex. Believing that the sexual act is something dirty, having had some painful experience or considering certain beliefs that should be banished can do a lot of damage.

Sexual relationships can be satisfying, pleasant and can bring two people closer together in a relationship. But for that you have to learn to overcome the phobia of sex, which not always easy to admit.

Seeing your own fears head-on is terrifying. However, this does not mean that you do not have to make this little effort to start enjoying sex and your partner from today.

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