Parenting with attachment: a method that promises to make the best of you and your baby

Why does everyone think about how to raise a baby? Ideas like "don't take the child when he cries, he gets used to the arms"or"it's time for you to sleep in your own room"They are some of the most repeated. It is something that generates many doubts in the family. However, these types of recommendations should not be taken lightly, since some of their behaviors will depend on the bonds that are generated with the child. adult life

One of the most accepted theories by mothers and fathers is that of the attachment breeding, which takes notoriety thanks to the pediatrician William Sears, and is originally based on the principles of attachment theory of the psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John bowlby.

Parenting with attachment is a way of raising our children in a sensitive and sensitive way, following their needs, listening to their innermost desires and focusing mainly on the natural rhythm of each child.

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What is parenting with attachment?

During the first three years of life, the child's brain reaches 90% of the adult size and places in place the majority of the structures that are responsible for the emotional, behavioral, social and physiological functioning of the rest of his life.

Therefore, especially in these years, the child needs to feel safe and emotionally balanced to have an adequate development. According to this theory, the emotional bonds that arise during childhood between parents and children will result in empathic relationships as adults.

The 8 principles of parenting with attachment

The organization Attachment Parenting International, which is dedicated to fostering a secure bond between parents and children around the world, ensures that there are eight fundamental principles for those who seek to raise their children to be sociable, autonomous and self-confident.

1. Close bond before and from birth

It is necessary to be prepared for the arrival of the baby and opt for a respectful birth without obstetric violence. The baby's contact with his mother is extremely important in the first minutes of life so that the attachment can occur.

In recent years, more and more institutions advocate that primary contact between mother and baby, as it is proven that it unleashes a great deal of biological and psychic benefits, both for both. It is also essential to achieve prompt and successful breastfeeding, and avoid the stress that may occur at birth.

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2. Food with love and respect

Both breastfeeding and bottle feeding, the important thing is to feed in an act of love itself. While breastfeeding goes hand in hand with parenting with attachment, the truth is that many mothers fail to feed their child with their milk and must resort to formulas.

However, a good search for information and specialized advice can lead a mother on the right path to ensure breastfeeding. The food you choose for your child should provide the opportunity to strengthen family ties. Preparing healthy foods, and worrying about their nutrition ensure a respectful upbringing.

3. Responsive response to the needs of the baby from birth

Some behavioral theories suggest that the child should be allowed to cry so that he "learns"; However, parenting with attachment not only banishes that myth but strongly discourages letting the baby cry for long periods.

The crying is there for a reason and it is better to pay attention so that your baby feels respected, loved and valued. In addition, the faster you go to his call will be safer and calmer, which will decrease your reasons for crying.

4. Make colecho

Breeding with attachment recommends breastfeeding on demand, so sleeping in the same bed with your baby will facilitate this task. In addition, it is proven that when a baby sleeps near his mother he feels more secure, since his parents are attentive to his needs before he cries.

5. Maternal contact as long as possible

This point is about making skin-to-skin contact, exercising the portage and arms as long as possible. And as soon as I can walk, keep close, lots of hugs and physical contact.

While in the postmodern era it tends to detach itself from the child, seeking not only its autonomy (sometimes erroneously) but also that of its mother, porting is an ancestral practice that ensures a secure attachment.

"Don't take him in his arms because he gets used to it" It is often said, while parenting with attachment invites us to raise with love and carry our babies in our arms whenever we can.

6. Balance in the family

The balance in the house and family life is important to ensure a good parenting climate for the child. No extreme is good, and it is not about raising a child without limits, nor applying severe sanctions, but finding that right point where you learn the limits but feel that it is done with love and respect towards him. Listen to our son and understand his doubts, his fears, his frustrations, to know him better and from there help him build his identity.

7. Be flexible when instilling habits in the child

Parents should be flexible with the needs of the baby and should teach them that they should be too. That is, it is not advisable to force the baby to eat or sleep when he does not want to.

8. Positive discipline practice

This form of parenting motivates parents to negotiate and speak clearly, warmly and closely with their children; Of course, without corporal punishment. This position is against adultcentrism and motivates older people to treat small people as they would like to be treated.

A parenting full of affection and dialogue with a few well-established and meaningful rules and limits, will help them to know what are the limits that their behavior cannot cross in order to live satisfactorily and have healthy relationships in their future.

And what do you think about attachment breeding? What other methods do you use?