Low sexual desire and the impact on relationships
Sex is a fundamental part of couple relationships, that's why low sexual desire can be a serious problem and the origin of other confrontations, Although they may seem unrelated, they arise from the lack of empathy and affinity that is produced by sexual dissatisfaction.
Low sexual desire is a more common problem than is believed, although many couples keep it between doors. A recent study found that 36% of women and 31% of men have low sexual desire, with increases from 40 years.
This problem is commonly reflected in marriages. "The typical patient says he was having sex before marriage and newlyweds, but after a few years, for no reason, there is no more sexual desire," explains Dr. Bruce Carr of the University of Texas, in the United States.
Low sexual desire not only affects the person who suffers and to the relationship, but also to the couple, who sees their sexual desires dissatisfied, feels rejected and can see their self-esteem affected.
What causes low sexual desire?
According to some doctors, it is from the age of 40 when the couple's sexual life begins to deteriorate.
Low sexual desire may have its origin in physical and psychological reasons. The stress of modern life negatively impacts sexual relationships. Therefore, The main causes of low sexual desire are depression and fatigue.
Resentment is another cause of low sexual desire. The rage against the couple for some discussion, for being very dominant, very passive or for feeling that ignores the needs of one, decreases the attraction and, therefore, the desire to have sex.
Old traumas, such as having been the victim of sexual abuse or bad experiences from the past can resurface and lower sexual appetite, sometimes without knowing it.
Among the physical reasons are the impotence of man caused by health problems, pains in the genital areas due to infections, wounds, low endocrine levels or some other factor.
When these are the causes, it is advisable to go to the doctor to find an adequate treatment As well as affecting the relationship, they can also have other health consequences.
Read also: Hypoactive sexual desire disorder in men
Why is it important to recover sexual desire?
Sex is an expression of feelings towards the other, which is why it is a fundamental part of the couple's relationship.
Sex is a very important part of the couple's relationship. The feelings towards the other, and even towards oneself, depend to a great extent on sex. Even in older couples, sex is a way to share, intimate and enjoy together.
Some people think that not having sex is okay and that you can build a relationship based on other activities that are shared as a couple. The truth is that if both have the same feeling and there is a sincere agreement on that, it may be possible. Speaking and communicating needs is important to find solutions together.
You can also think that one is well without sex, but when you analyze the past and remember that sex was something that was enjoyed and that brought the couple closer, It is easy to realize how important sex is for a better relationship. The daily dynamics of the relationship improves when the sexual dynamic is active and satisfying.
What to do to eliminate low sexual desire?
Check with the doctor
In the presence of doubts or physiological factors that prevent sex, consulting a specialist will always be the best option.
If you notice that there is a physical cause, such as impotence or pain, It is always better to rule out any disease. As we have seen, some physical ailments can play an important role in sexual desire. Therefore, a medical evaluation will allow us to rule out these possibilities.
Talk to your partner
Communicate your needs and ask for theirs. Speaking openly about failures and expectations, as well as trying to find a solution between the two, committing to work on improving the relationship, can be the best solution to any problem.
Visit a couple therapist
The help of third parties, especially if it is professional, helps find solutions. In this way, a therapist, at a couple level and even at an individual level, will help you find the causes of low sexual desire and rekindle the relationship.
It may interest you: When to go to the sexologist
Find moments of intimacy with your partner
Rekindling the flames and finding new moments of intimacy can start with romantic activities that both enjoy.
Sometimes the hardest thing is to take the first step. The routine of abstinence is comfortable but dangerous. Caress your partner, look for the points of attraction and try to lovingly force a return to those moments of intimacy.
Experience new things
If low sexual desire is caused by boredom, try to explore new positions and experiment with unrealized sexual desires. Decubre together new sexual interests to get extra motivation.
Break with fear
It may be that After a long time without having sex with your partner feel some fear in approaching. Sex can look like something strange. If so, start little by little. Cherish, touch, maybe penetration is somewhat forced, but they can masturbate each other the first few times and then try intercourse.
Revive the relationship
Surely If the relationship is low or nonexistent in sexual activity, it probably is in other aspects. Maybe they get along personally, but do not share other things in life that are normal as a couple. Make an appointment to go out to dinner or dance, plan some of those activities that you enjoyed together in the past.
Recovering common things and enjoying them together will help to regain attraction and sexual desire.