Law of detachment: how to apply it to improve your life?

Applying the law of detachment will allow you to stop suffering, live in peace and have healthier relationships. Find out what it is and how to put it into practice.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Last update: 15 September, 2022

What would you answer if they ask you who you are? Probably, you would refer to the place where you live, your marital status, the job you do or your possessions. By defining ourselves we can see what aspects of our reality we are becoming attached to, as we have made them part of our identity. The law of detachment invites us to be freer, to open ourselves to infinite possibilities and to let go of control of what surrounds us.

Said in this way, it may seem like a concept that is too abstract and difficult to carry out. It is true: it is not easy to apply.

Nevertheless, It is the way to have healthier relationships, reach our goals more easily and, above all, live in a state of calm and fullness, away from fear.

What is the law of detachment?

The law of detachment is part of the 7 spiritual laws of success, promoted by the Hindu writer Deepak Chopra. His work is based on the universal laws that govern creation, at the level of the macrocosm (the Universe) and the microcosm (the human being).

From this base, it proposes a series of precepts that, applied in our daily life, allow us to achieve success and stop suffering.

The law of detachment refers to the ability to give up attachment to material and immaterial goods and open ourselves to uncertainty and its infinite potentialities. In other words, it consists of detaching ourselves from possessions, identities and personal relationships, to anchor ourselves to the unquestionable trust in our true selves and in life.

Detachment does not imply to stop having goals, to stop enjoying or to show ourselves cold and distant. We can still have material possessions, future projects and walk towards them, establishing deep relationships. The key lies in letting go of controlin enjoying them, but not needing them, in that these aspects do not govern us.

Buddhism, for example, places great importance on the concept of detachment in order to walk towards genuine freedom.

The four laws of detachment

This general principle is divided into four different laws, which explain in more detail how to embrace detachment on a daily basis. Let’s see each of them in detail.

1. You are responsible for yourself

This law invites us to abandon the role of victim and take charge of our circumstances and our happiness. Your well-being depends on no one but yourself. Thus, it is our task to make decisions, be brave and take responsibility for what happens to us.

We have to stop being governed by the mandates and expectations of others. We should not seek the approval or evaluation of others. On the contrary, the objective is to align ourselves with who we are, with our values ​​and intuitions, and act accordingly and congruently.

2. Live the present, accept and assume your reality

For everyone it is difficult to live in the present, since the mind constantly wanders between sadness for the past and anxiety for the future. However, to achieve success and fulfillment it is important to focus on the here and now, accepting reality as it is.

Let’s stop suffering, lamenting or blaming ourselves for what happened, let’s stop fighting against the current. It’s time to detach from the past and release the frustration that causes us that things are not as we would like. Assuming reality calmly and without judgment is the first step to being able to make a change.

3. It promotes freedom and allows others to be free too

Freedom is the fullest, most complete and healthy state to go through life. Therefore, our relationships must never be dependent or based on fear and control. On the contrary, they must start from a good capacity to be alone, which allows us to choose the company of will and pleasure.

We give up freedom (our own and others) when we try to interfere in the lives of others and solve their problems, as well as when we try to control, manipulate or please them so that they do not leave our side. These attitudes come from fear and it is necessary to give them up.

4. Assume that the loss will happen sooner or later

This last law of detachment invites us to assume and embrace the idea of ​​impermanence: everything happens, everything flows and change is constant. Nothing is eternal, nothing lasts.

Both our possessions and our relationships will be lost at some point. Assuming this reality will allow us to live more in peace.

Understanding that time passes with changes and that nothing is permanent allows us to assume existence with different eyes and another perspective.

How to apply the law of detachment?

As a result of the above, you will have already been able to collect some ideas about how to apply the law of detachment in your life. However, here are some condensed tips:

  • Do not seek to control others or impose your opinions. Allow each person to be.
  • Try not to force situations. and not to get obsessed with looking for solutions. Come back to your center, find peace, trust and flow with events.
  • embrace the uncertainty. Don’t be attached to rigid desires or goals and be open to change. Remember that when nothing is certain, everything is possible.
  • Stop defining yourself based on what you have and allow yourself all the possibilities of being. Align yourself with your true self and do not depend on the approval of others.
  • Take responsibility for your life and your happiness. May your emotions not depend on circumstances or people outside of you. You are your center.
  • Find the seed of opportunity in every crisis and the lesson in every unforeseen event.
  • allow yourself to enjoy and bond by choice, not necessity.

Starting to practice the law of detachment can be difficult at first. We are too set on fear and the need for control.

However, we can take small steps every day, by reacting with confidence and with an open look to everything that happens to us. With practice, these attitudes will become more natural for you and you will see that your life is transformed and peace is your companion on the way.

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