I don't have friends: 7 possible reasons and tips
Many people, at some point in their life, face the following questioning: "Why don't I have friends?". This situation causes concern because the human being is sociable and requires ties to ensure their survival and well-being.
The answer to this question is more complex than it seems, since there are a number of reasons that lead people to have problems relating to relationships. However, in this article we will show the most common ones and some tips to deal with them.
Possible reasons why you may not have friends
In order to establish solid and lasting friendships it is important to identify what are the specific causes that are preventing it. These can be summarized as internal (concerning personality or way of being) and external (linked to circumstances or context).
If you are one of those people who asks the question: "Why don't I have friends?", then we will show you causes that will help you answer it.
1. Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem prevents us from perceiving ourselves as valuable people. In these cases, the constant comparison with others and the feeling that we are not up to the task is common.
This feeling of inferiority prevents us from daring to become intimate with others, promoting isolation and loneliness.
Shy people feel anxious and uncomfortable in social situations. Hence avoid being and interacting with others.
While they seek to reduce the discomfort produced by interacting with others, they then experience discomfort in their voluntary isolation.
3. Inappropriate attitudes
There is a series of attitudes that alienate others and prevent us from establishing links durable. Among them are the following:
- Play victim role.
- Pride or feeling of superiority.
- Low tolerance for frustration.
- Violent reactions.
4. Carelessness or lack of time
It is common for the hectic pace of life to separate us from friends or the opportunity to establish new relationships; many times without realizing it.
For its part, we tend to put friends aside when we are with a partner. This is a mistake to be avoided. You have to cultivate the links so that they are not lost over time.
There are people who enjoy being alone. They prefer to make plans and activities without the company of other people and this is not bad; It's a way to be. However, it must be remembered that interaction and bonding are healthy.
Also read: The beneficial effects of having friends
6. Psychological problems
There are a large number of psychological conditions that make it difficult to establish close relationships, such as social phobia, depression, mythomania, and personality disorders. If you have a history with any of them, it is important to take them into account and go to a professional.
7. Situational difficulties
There are several contexts that make it difficult to establish social ties, such as living in a remote area, working at home, making frequent moves. If this is your case, Ideally, you should identify what you can do to improve the situation.
Helpful tips for learning to make friends
If you don't want to say again "I do not have friends", take note of the following tips. These they will help you establish long relationships and quality.
1. Dare to meet other people
If you think that the people you know are not the best candidates for bonding, it is vital that you meet new people. There are many out there wanting to find someone like you.
For this you can enroll in leisure activities, such as painting, dance or cooking classes. Also attend the gym. Frequent new spaces that give you the opportunity to interact.
2. Identify those things that you have in common with others
An effective way to connect with people is to be aware of the likes or hobbies that we have in common and use them to start conversations. Sign up for activities that you like and there you will find like-minded people. This will make it easier for you to get along with them.
3. Practice empathy
In conversations with others, try to be attentive to their emotions. Remember that a friendship is not only about you. It is important to listen to and respect the feelings of the other.
Discover: How to Identify and Stay Away From Toxic Friendships
4. Spend time with your relationships
Friendships must be cultivated to be strong and lasting. Every relationship requires attention and care.
Therefore, no matter how busy you are, make a space for a text message or a call. It doesn't have to take a long time. Small gestures maintain and strengthen friendships.
5. Get out of the routine
If you want to have friends, we recommend you get out of your comfort zone. For it, dare to do activities accompanied.
Invite your coworkers to watch a movie or go for coffee. Being in another environment reinforces the bonds.
6. Modify your attitude
As we have already seen, the way we behave with others is often the cause of the lack of friends. Therefore, identify what attitudes may be causing rejection in the others.
For this you can consult a third party who knows you and is objective. Talking about your problem is a good way to get to know other points of view.
You should know that you probably do not like to know what the other thinks, but it is necessary to be able to patch up your behavior. A small change in your attitude can change many things.
7. Intimate with others
Another way to have true friends is to take advantage of those bonds that we already have to make them more intimate and personal. If you know a person with whom you have an affinity, invite her to do an activity where the two of you are alone. This will help you get to know each other better.
If I don't have friends now, I can start having them
In some cases it is necessary to have professional assistance. There are psychological conditions that make interacting with others significantly difficult.
If you feel like you've already tried everything and keep claiming "I do not have friends", then it is important that you consider psychotherapeutic support. Things can be resolved with determination and acknowledging limitations is key to moving forward.
People with few friends lack the social skills that allow them to establish effective relationships. Find out what they are. Read more "