How to teach children to be consistent

Children also educate their parents, since their very existence implies a revision of what can be offered to them. To teach children to be consistent, you must first cultivate consistency in yourself.

Last update: 07 September, 2022

The best way to teach children to be consistent is by example. That is the basis of coherence: that the facts coincide with the words and with the values ​​that are instilled in the family.

It is true that no person, including parents, manages to maintain absolute coherence at every moment of life. However, to teach children to be consistent it is important that there is no significant contrast between thoughts, words and actions.

For the little ones it is very important to check that their parents maintain consistency. This gives them security and helps them to be more honest and psychologically healthy.

The importance of consistency

Teaching children to be consistent helps them to have a healthier psychosocial development and gives them a solid foundation in building their personality. A child educated in coherence is more complete in all aspects.

Now, coherence is not a discourse, but a practice. Children are usually very attentive to that congruence between what parents say and do. If there is a contradiction, the educational messages that are intended to be sent are devalued.

If the father frequently explodes with anger, there is no point in demanding self-control from his son. Similarly, if he breaks his promises, he does not have to ask the child to keep them. Being consistent facilitates educational work and gives real value to principles.



Keys to teach children to be consistent

To teach children to be consistent, it is important for parents to be aware of those principles in which they genuinely believe. The consistency starts there.

Closeness in parenting is a first step in making the father’s example evident to the child.

Sincerity above all

Sincerity is one of the pillars to teach children to be consistent. It is important to always speak the truth to them. In this way, they will learn to value the words of their parents and their own.

The questions that children ask must be answered truthfully, regardless of the subject matter. You also have to be honest to say “I dont know” either “I don’t have the answer right now, but I’ll look it up and tell you”.

Cultivate a sense of transcendence

When talking about teaching children to be consistent, a series of principles must be taken as a starting point. These, in turn, are based on values.

It is important to show the child what is the effect of actions. It is achieved through stories, personal stories, movies, etc.

Inculcate a sense of fairness and responsibility

The sense of justice and responsibility are the source of many other values. Therefore, they must be inculcated from an early age.

It is advisable to take advantage of the same daily family experiences to reflect on both values. Also analyze context situations from this perspective.



reason about rules

Teaching children to be consistent goes through a reflection on the rules that exist in the family. These cannot be absolute nor should compliance be mechanically enforced.

It is good to talk to the little ones about the meaning they have. That is, why they exist and what benefits they bring.

Focus and move slowly

The best way to teach children to be consistent is to start with one or two principles and values, until they are sufficiently entrenched. Strengthening them means getting them to internalize and practiceboth for parents and children. Then you can move on to another norm and thus advance gradually.

Evaluate routines

It is highly recommended to do an analysis of the routines to detect those situations in which there is some ambiguity or contradiction. Then, focus the work on those episodes, so that they are associated with the value or principle that you want to build.

be constant

The process of teaching children to be consistent is not easy, but if you want to achieve it, you need to be consistent. That sustained continuity is also a form of coherence. Therefore, it is not just a matter of starting the work, but of maintaining it over time, until it is no longer necessary to focus on it.

The stories in stories or movies serve as a tool to educate in values.

Tips for parents

The father and mother must agree in the principles and values that they want to instill in their children. It is impossible to teach children to be consistent if a basic consistency is not achieved among the people who are in charge of their education.

Stable routines also facilitate consistency. Of course, such routines must be seen to be reasonable.

Many times, children fail to adjust their behavior because they are overstimulated or fatigued. In these conditions they are not very permeable to messages.

Boundaries are set in a clear and reasonable way, but with affection. Exercising authority does not mean being authoritarian or tyrannical. Coherence does not have to do with intransigence, but with consistency.

For children, there is no better lesson than the example of parents.

The little ones will tend to imitate the behaviors they see in adults. Therefore, to teach children to be consistent, you have to work on your own consistency.

A good technique is to evaluate each day if there has been enough coherence in the relationship with the boys.. The goal is not to blame yourself, but to increase self-awareness.

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