How to stop feeling intimidated when dealing with other people

Using your imagination as a way to defuse the tension in a situation can help you deal with bullying. What else can be done?

Last update: 29 March, 2022

“I can’t have a conversation with my boss without my hands shaking”, “I don’t like going to a certain place because I feel uncomfortable when such a person appears”these expressions are just a few examples of the discomfort of feeling intimidated.

It can be caused by a self-esteem problem, shyness or an unpleasant episode from the past. However, it can become an obstacle to establishing social relationships. How to deal with it? Here are some tips.

Tips to stop being bullied

Feeling intimidated is an uncomfortable and limiting feeling. It makes you see things where they don’t really exist, puts security in check and even causes nervousness when speaking. Fortunately, there are simple strategies that help to overcome it. Let’s see.

1. Identify what is intimidating

What is the trigger for that feeling of intimidation… That they speak to you in a raised tone of voice? The posture? Sometimes, it is enough to do this exercise to identify that it is not “the person himself”, but a memory or a similar situation that has already been experienced.

Feeling intimidated can stem from a bad experience with the person in question.

2. Identify and redefine thoughts

The origin of this problem can be the way of idealizing others. Sometimes, it is ignored that they are “flesh and blood” people, who also face daily life and different problems. So that, it is necessary to question where these beliefs come from and what are the stereotypes that may be causing the bullying.

3. Learn to handle body language

Talking to someone who is leaning back on a chair is not the same as talking to someone who is upright and sitting in a safe position. Nor is it the same to talk to someone who looks you in the eye and does not look down.

Body language can say more than words. Therefore, if it is about facing shyness, you have to improve your posture and ensure that each transmitted message reveals security and comfort to others.

4. Work on self-esteem

One of the most important components to not being intimidated by anyone is a strong self-esteem. This involves identifying strengths and weaknesses and keeping in mind that no one is perfect.

The more self-knowledge is cultivated, the better the attitude when making decisions or when having to face an intimidating person.

5. Use criticism as opportunities

Many times, feeling intimidated stems from how suggestions or comments made by others are interpreted. This is often viewed as a negative rather than an opportunity for improvement.

But why not turn it around? As long as they communicate in an assertive way, it is good to ask yourself what the other person is trying to say and how it could be improved. In this way, far from having a negative connotation, it will be a starting point for personal growth.

6. Use your imagination

In situations of nervousness and intimidation, imagination can be the best ally to defuse that uncomfortable feeling. In this sense, it is convenient to imagine the person or the situation in a different scenario, so that this enlarged image diminishes.

How to project security to others

In addition to the above, there are other keys that allow you to learn to better handle situations and, above all, to be a security projector. Put them into practice!

  • Speaking and listening. A confident person is able to listen to his interlocutor; It allows him a space to express himself and express his opinions.
  • take care of yourself To be safe and calm, it is important to have all that flow of energy in such a situation. Weakness or a bad dream affects the good function of all the senses. Therefore, one of the first steps is to take care of yourself and pay attention to well-being.
  • Prepare the interaction and what you want to say. If an awkward meeting with the boss or something similar is coming up, it pays to order the speech and try to organize it in advance. Thus, there will be sufficient preparation and a greater sense of security.
  • Put limits. It is one thing for a person to present themselves with “certain strength” in front of another, and quite another thing is for them to speak loudly, cross boundaries or be disrespectful. You have to know how to set limits assertively when someone does not address you in the best way. This may indicate that someone is not intimidating, but rather that they do not have good social skills.
Listening, speaking and setting limits is decisive in not feeling intimidated by other people.

Everything is relative

That a person is intimidating depends on their qualities, but also on the power that is granted to them. In addition, there is no characteristic that defines it; what for someone can be uncomfortable, for others it simply is not.

In this order of ideas, it is about “decomposing” that almighty image that is perceived of the other. This does not imply ignoring their qualities, but recognizing that they also have their own strengths that can help them successfully face situations.

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