How to control pride and pride in children?

A haughty and proud child will not only have social problems, but will also feel unhappy. We tell you how to prevent your child from developing these attitudes.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz on August 25, 2021.

Last update: August 25, 2021

All parents want their children to have good self-esteem and healthy self-esteem, as this will help them to be happier and more successful. However, these misunderstood qualities can turn into arrogance and pride, leading to minors who really do not like each other and fail to establish good relationships with others. A pushy, authoritarian child who feels superior will sooner or later face conflict.

There are different educational styles that can lead children to be arrogant and despotic. Both the lack of limits and the excess of them, the permissiveness and the requirement, can lead to these results. Although in all cases parents do what they consider best, they may end up making mistakes.

Origins of pride and arrogance

Pride and pride are part of the so-called self-conscious emotions; that is, those that we experience in relation to ourselves and our actions. They arise from an excessively positive assessment of who we are and what we do. However, they do not only imply esteem towards oneself, but also the feeling of superiority with respect to the rest.

A haughty and proud child considers himself to be above others, worthy and deserving of praise and special benefits. For this reason, he tends to be arrogant, presumptuous and haughty. Now, where does this attitude of arrogance come from? Well, the parenting style applied at home.

On the one hand, it is important to remember that children take their parents as the main reference figures. From them they learn how to think, feel and behave. Thus, if parents are arrogant in dealing with their children or with other people, the children will probably end up imitating these attitudes.

On the other hand, the level of affection and demands that govern the dynamics of the family are also of great importance. The little ones need to feel loved, accepted and validated by their parents; If they do not get this affection and recognition they can develop arrogance and pride as a defense, a mask that helps them to compensate for their feeling of little worth.

Similarly, overly demanding parents who place unrealistic expectations on their child can achieve similar results. Constantly stressing the child that he has to be the best, that he must excel, win and be successful is negative.

But even the most loving and caring parents can contribute to the development of pride and arrogance in their children if they forget to set limits. By satisfying every wish of the child, the idea is transmitted to him that he is the center of the world and that he has no need to take responsibility.

Parenting styles have a great influence on the attitudes that children will later develop.

Characteristics of a proud and proud child

It is not always easy to identify if our child is developing a haughty and arrogant attitude. Nevertheless, there are certain characteristics that we must attend to, since they can be a sign.

Does not tolerate frustration

When you receive a refusal or events do not happen according to your expectations, you may experience great discomfort and show anger and disgust in high degrees. Since he considers himself worthy of everything and demands it with immediacy, having to postpone or give up your wishes is a big problem for you.

Shows lack of empathy

The child is so self-centered that does not take into account the feelings, opinions or wishes of anyone else. He considers that only he is the one who matters.

Criticizes or belittles other people frequently

To assert yourself you need to devalue others. Instead of rejoicing in the success of others, he tends to throw it to the ground and tends to highlight and poke fun at faults of others.

Is conceited and demands attention and recognition

It is common to see these children boasting of his qualities, achievements and possessions. They constantly seek admiration and praise from those around them.

Has difficulty handling criticism

The arrogant child is unable to recognize his own mistakes or failures. Reacts disproportionately when someone points them out. They do not usually ask for forgiveness or try to improve or compensate for their bad behaviors.

How to train my child without generating these behaviors?

Although it may seem otherwise, pride and pride denote a lack of self-esteem and great insecurity. These attitudes are defensive, as a way to compensate for their low self-esteem.

Therefore, it is essential that you help your child to achieve a healthy and solid self-esteem, that you teach him to love, accept and trust himself. Even if you make mistakes.

In addition, there are a series of guidelines that can help avoid arrogance and pride in your children:

  • Love it and accept it unconditionally: From birth, be sure to meet her emotional needs, show affection, and pay attention to her. In this way, you will avoid creating wounds and deficiencies that later have to compensate.
  • Avoid demanding too much: remember that, like every human being, you will make mistakes and have flaws and areas for improvement. Help him understand that there is nothing wrong with this, that he has the right to be wrong and not perfect. This does not mean that it is no longer valid.
  • Promotes empathy from early years: Encourage him to put himself in the shoes of others, to try to understand how they feel and to wonder how he would feel in their place. Emotions are the essence that we all share.
  • Set healthy limits: stand firm in its fulfillment. This will teach your child to tolerate frustration, to understand that not always everything is as we want and is fine.
It is important that children learn to tolerate frustrations without recrimination from parents.

How to correct them when the attitude is already present?

Without being aware, you may have already made some of these parenting mistakes and are seeing how your child becomes an arrogant and proud person. However, you can still rectify and help him get rid of these undesirable qualities.

To do this, apply the following points:

  • Start assigning responsibilities according to their age: By collaborating and sharing efforts with the rest of the household members, you will understand that you are one of the group, with rights, but also duties.
  • Encourage him to do self-criticism– When they make a mistake or hurt another person, help them identify the consequences of their actions and explain the importance of apologizing and making amends for their mistake.
  • Show him the value of compassionWhen we are empathetic with others, when we help, console and support, we experience pleasant and positive emotions. Much more than when we criticize or humiliate. Thus, invite your child to do something good for others and to feel firsthand that natural reward of altruism.
  • Strengthen your self-esteem: a child who loves himself and knows that he is loved does not need to resort to pride in order to feel better.

In short, avoid the appearance of pride and pride in children in a task that is achieved through education at home. Working on empathy, humility and emotional intelligence is essential for children to learn to value themselves and others at the same time.