How to conquer a shy man?

To win over a shy man, immediacy and superficiality are often useless. Find out what these types of people value and how to approach them.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz on September 30, 2021.

Last update: September 30, 2021

When it comes to relationships and social interaction, extroverts are king. And not only because of its greater ease of making contact or communicating, but because on a social level, being open and dynamic is better viewed and more valued. Nevertheless, the more withdrawn or introverted can also be attractive and fascinating. Therefore, if you want to conquer a shy man and you don't know how to do it, we want to offer you some advice.

There is no doubt that talking, interacting and expressing yourself is essential when it comes to reaching out emotionally to others. For this reason, conquering a shy person can be a challenge.

How do I keep the conversation going? Am I boring or bullying you? Should I slow down? Does he really like me or is he just being polite? These are some of the questions that may be asked by those who have decided to seduce an introvert. To answer them, we invite you to continue reading.

What characterizes a shy man?

To conquer a shy man it is important to understand something more about these types of personalities. Knowing how they feel, how they think, and how they work will help make the approaches more appropriate and more positive and satisfying for both of you.

So we invite you to take into account the following aspects:

  • They are reluctant to the unknown. And it is that shyness manifests itself especially in the first encounters, in which uncertainty and fear of rejection arise.
  • They may have a hard time starting and maintaining a conversation.
  • They tend to judge themselves and may feel insecure, especially if there is social phobia to some degree.
  • They are usually loving and emotionally close people.
  • They are very empathetic, they are good listeners and enjoy learning more about those around them.
  • They have a rich and deep inner world.
  • They are thoughtful and they have a high level of self-knowledge.
  • They are usually slow, meditative and prudent people.
  • They seek to connect at deeper levels and significant. Small talk and attempts to pretend don't go with them.

How to conquer a shy man?

With all of the above in mind, you can imagine that some of the usual seduction tactics are not appropriate when it comes to interacting with shy people. In some cases because they are overwhelming; in others because they may not generate any interest or even provoke rejection.

Shy and introverted men cannot be conquered with the same usual seduction techniques.

Earn their trust

Shy people need time to get comfortable with the rest. Therefore, it is important that you be patient and work to build a relationship of trust. Try to spend time with this person whenever possible, without pressure or expectations.

Also, try to make your interactions, even short, satisfying. Do not force or extend them any longer than necessary. Allow them to come naturally and be sure to show the other that you enjoy chatting or spending time with them. A sincere smile can be a powerful reinforcement.



Take the initiative

For a shy man, surely it is not easy to start or maintain the conversation, so If you take on that role, you can relieve the pressure a lot and help the meeting to be enjoyed. To do this, you can find out about the likes, interests and hobbies of this person.

On the other hand, try to ask specific questions that can be answered easily. With a high level of anxiety, it can be difficult to explain complex ideas or make great speeches. Instead, choose to offer interactions that you can engage in without much effort.

Take advantage of social networks

Today there are many social networks and messaging applications with which we can communicate. These types of platforms are a great tool for shy people. It allows them to express themselves and relate without so much pressure and immediacy.



Be nice and gentle

To win over a shy guy it is important that you make him feel comfortable, that you show interest and that he feels appreciated and accepted. Thus, avoid abrupt, cutting, or overly direct responses and choose to be gentle and kind. Show that you are a safe place.

Respect their personality

There is no more uncomfortable situation for an introvert than to be rebuked or judged for their way of acting. Do not berate him for his lack of initiative, don't ask him why he's so quiet or why he doesn't participate more. Try to understand and respect their personality, their emotions, and their rhythms.

The conversations must be pleasant so that a shy man trusts you and is encouraged to share his interior.

To conquer a shy man, do not stop being yourself or yourself

Indeed, it is important to adapt in certain aspects when conquering a shy boy; for example, trying not to be too invasive or intense. Nevertheless, in no case pretend to be something that you are not.

Whichever type of person you want to seduce, authenticity is essential. If you have to dress up to be loved, that's not the place.

Therefore, even if you are a more sociable, outgoing or energetic person, do not hide or force yourself to change. The other may appreciate those qualities in you. Show yourself as you are, let yourself be known. Shy people tend to value the background more than the masks.