How to avoid stagnation in the relationship?

Is it possible to avoid stagnation in a relationship? The answer is yes. Although it takes a lot on our part to make everything work.

Last update: January 03, 2022

Relationships are complicated, but this does not mean that we cannot solve certain situations that can affect us. Avoiding stagnation is one of the main objectives when we have been for many years with the same person. How to deal with them?

Confinement due to the pandemic was one of the factors that set off the alarms. Crises in couples increased, divorces suffered a surprising increase. Many couples found that they were bored with whoever they shared their life with. There was no longer a spark.

What is stagnation in the couple?

Stagnation in the couple is an unpleasant situation in which neither of us want to find ourselves. The lack of enthusiasm, doubts about whether to continue with the relationship, boredom, fed up or feeling that there is a void in our life. This is stagnation.

Many times, the sadness and frustration of feeling all these negative emotions makes us break the bond with the other person because we make a comparison with the romantic love that we have seen so many times in the movies. That overwhelming passion, that exciting life that makes our days so fun. All of this is not real.

Responsibilities, problems, and concerns affect the relationship. But there is something even more important which is when the infatuation phase fades. We stop feeling the butterflies, there is almost nothing new to discover and we start to get bored.

The routine can create a boredom in the couple that is difficult to overcome.

What is a stagnant relationship like?

Before learning how to avoid stagnation (because it can be done), it is essential to know what it is like to be in a relationship that is in this situation. In this way, we can tell if we are going through the same thing:

  • You don’t feel like making plans: nor go for a walk, nor go shopping together. There is no desire to plan a vacation. This is a key moment that alerts you to a problem of stagnation, monotony and boredom.
  • Lack of passion: sex is an important part of relationships. Although it may diminish over the years, passion can manifest itself in many ways. From kisses, hugs, closeness or the need for physical contact.
  • Communication is absent: the lack of desire can be transferred to the plane of communication. Have we started to shut things up? Don’t we feel the need to share how our day has gone? So there is a problem.

Tips to avoid stagnation

If we have felt identified with any of the previous situations, then we may have to do a job to avoid stagnation. What can we do? These are some tips.

1. Talk to the couple about what is happening

Maybe the same thing is happening to the other person and we have not realized it! Taking the step and being honest is essential. In addition, surely our partner can propose a plan (such as a weekend getaway). There are ideas that have not occurred to us, but that the other person may.

2. Strive to make plans

Romantic beliefs that love can do anything are not real. Every relationship involves work, that is, we have to make an effort to communicate with the other, reach agreements, make decisions and make plans if we notice that we are relaxing.

3. Think about what unites us

Sit down and putting ourselves before a blank paper can be interesting to capture all that we have forgotten. What caught our attention about our partner, what made us fall in love with her? Why do we continue with that person? Are we heading to the same place?

4. Go to couples therapy

Sometimes we can’t figure out what happens to us without help. As we go to the psychologist individually, we can go to couples therapy to avoid stagnations or resolve them if we have realized that the situation is not progressing. There are many professionals willing to contribute.

Couples therapy helps many people. We must not be prejudiced about this modality.

There are ways to avoid relationship stagnation

Avoiding stagnation in a relationship is not easy. It is normal that over time we forget to do our part. The relationship can be fading, like the flame of a burning candle. If we find out in time, we can take action on the matter.

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