Full growth: 4 practical ways to strengthen self-control

Various circumstances can cause you to lose your temper and get out of control, however, learning to control yourself is a daily exercise. Like a muscle, the ability to stay calm is created through constant effort.

In order to better understand how to control you, we must start with the concept. For psychology self-control is defined as “A person’s ability to dominate, select, coordinate or inhibit affects, desires or drives so that the behavior does not harm the achievement of one or more goals considered highly desirable ”(Galimberti, 2002).

In other words, it can be said that a person has a high level of self-control when he manages to display behaviors that are aligned with his goals despite the fact that the situation may generate emotions, desires or impulses with high intensity. As you know, most of our attitudes and behaviors are forged from our childhood, so if in your childhood there was no guide on how to develop self-control, it is very likely that in your adulthood you are having difficulties with this quality.

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Don’t worry, it’s never too late to start changing. For what I share with you four simple ways to exercise and strengthen your level of self-control.

1. Identify patterns: This is the key to change in more than one area of ​​our lives. Human beings are creatures of routine, so we tend to fall into the same thing over and over again. Those situations that make you out of control must have something in common. Learn to identify them so that you can know in which situations you are more prone and begin to correct it.

2. Listen to your body: the mind and the body are one, if it is difficult for you to identify your emotions, or you only feel them when they overwhelm you, then go to the signals that your body gives you. They can be from simple things like tension in the shoulders, to sweating or rapid heartbeat. This is your body’s way of telling you that what you are experiencing is not entirely to your liking.

3. Restrict yourself: One of the most useful ways to build self-control is through restraint. For example, if you drink 3 cups of coffee a day, start by not finishing one, even if you really want to and custom wants to drag you into those patterns. Another option is to restrict comfort. If you tend to stay in bed after your alarm goes off, encourage yourself to get up when your clock rings. Actions like these will help you remember that you have power over yourself, no one else.

Four. Question your thoughts: This may be the strangest technique of all that I propose here. And it is normal that it seems something unusual since I am almost sure that you have not applied it before. If you tend to think that everything that is on your mind is true, let me get a little closer to reality, NO. In fact, much of what we think is going to happen never happens.

Then, by learning to question yourself, you can help yourself so that those situations that bother you do not become unbalanced. I give you an example: If you are thinking that X person is trying to provoke you to make you angry, ask yourself: What evidence do I have? Then, could their intentions be better, and finally, what can I do differently?

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I hope these techniques help you get to know yourself and control yourself better. Tell me how you do when putting them into practice! And if you want to deepen with this type of themes visit my Web page so that you discover how I can help you. I also recommend that you browse the rest of my articles. See you next installment!


  • Dominique Boschetti

Clinical Psychologist with a Master in Mental Health, Therapist, Mentor of Spirituality and Protector of the Environment; Bilingual therapist, with national and international consultation. Promoter of inner discovery, of a Connection with everything and of a Full Life; Pecetariana, Spiritual and Defender of the Planet; Creator of the A · D · N Transformation Program, available in our Course Catalog.

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