A breakup is a painful experience and often difficult to overcome. However, it is possible to emerge victorious from this suffering and there are signs that confirm it. If you feel identified with the following indicators, then it means that you surpassed your former partner.
Before starting, it is important to emphasize that the impact of a breakup will depend on multiple variables that make the grieving experience unique for each person. These factors include the way in which the relationship has been left, the status of the couple at the time of breaking up, internal strength and past experiences.
Therefore, there is no set time to get over your ex; Each one will elaborate and overcome the situation according to the circumstances and their personal resources.
1. Unpleasant feelings disappear
The most common manifestations after a breakup are sadness, crying, anger, insecurity, jealousy towards the ex-partner, anxiety, depression, high levels of stress and the desire for revenge. When the separation grief is overcome, these expressions disappear.
Instead, you experience emotional well-being, feeling happy, whole, and calm. This will allow you to respond appropriately, responsibly and successfully to life's challenges, be they work, interpersonal, social or academic.
Also read: 8 phases of the breakup
2. You feel better about yourself
Another consequence of the breakup is the appearance of low self-esteem. Negative self concepts are created, such as feeling inadequate, incapable or unattractive.
By overcoming the breakup, you regain self-confidence, change the look, you feel more attractive and with the ability to face any adversity in life.
3. You stop thinking about the past and the relationship
During the early stages of grief, it is common for feelings of guilt to appear. In this way, the person begins to analyze and ruminate on aspects of the relationship that may have been different, leading to questions such as "What did I do wrong?" or "Why did you leave me?".
On the other hand, you tend to remember happy moments and you feel a longing to relive that stage. However, if you got over your ex, thoughts are going to turn to the present and the future, which will allow you to advance and develop personal projects.
4. You set new individual goals
By sharing life as a couple, a new identity emerges: us. It is in opposition to the individual self. When the relationship ends, goals or visions that were shared together should be discarded.
Therefore, it is common for many people who have just ended a love relationship and who had common goals, experience a loss of meaning and uncertainty. So they often wonder "Now what will I do?".
The answer to this question will come as the duel is developed and overcome. While this is happening, you will begin to set individual goals for your well-being, such as undertaking new professional projects, planning a trip, starting to practice a forgotten hobby.
5. You cultivate new interpersonal relationships and consolidate the ones you have
When the person is grieving separation, one response is often isolation. In this way, contact or interaction with other people is avoided, since the sad state of mind does not allow to enjoy the company of others.
Having said that, an indicator of overcoming grief is the willingness to interact with other people and enjoy the experience. The bonds with family and friends are strengthened. In addition, you open yourself to the possibility of expanding your circle of friends.
Discover: What to do if your ex wants friendship?
6. You no longer worry about what your ex does or does not do.
A fairly common behavior when the breakup is recent is the strong interest in knowing what the former partner is doing. Concerns arise about whether she will be dating someone else or whether she is enjoying being single.
In many cases, the person manages to answer these questions, such as by checking their social networks, consulting a mutual friend, establishing contact. Nevertheless, once the break is over, these issues cease to be a concern and you become more interested in your affairs.
7. Having contact with your ex is no longer a painful experience
Any contact that is established between the two (such as a call, a meeting or a message) is no longer a source of pain or anguish. Likewise, you keep any attempt at reconciliation at bay, because you already feel comfortable without him or her and you don't need their company to feel full and happy.
8. You regain interest in those activities that you liked
Indifference to life usually occurs in the stage of separation grief. But if you got over your ex, it is very likely that you will resume those activities that you enjoyed and that you abandoned due to the crisis you were going through. Even, it is possible that you discover interests that you had hidden.
9. You are open to having another romantic relationship or you feel comfortable with being single
After a breakup, it is to be expected that the person does not want to establish a close emotional bond with another person. Also, there are those who consider never falling in love again. However, if you got over your ex, these beliefs change and you will be willing to love again.
Another scenario can also occur: once healed, you enjoy being single and are aware that you do not need anyone by your side to feel happy.
Sometimes a little help is needed to know that you got over your ex
As already mentioned, circumstances and personal constitution are so variable that the experience of separation grief is lived in a very particular way. Therefore, it is out of place to make comparisons and establish standard exceedance periods.
That said, it is pertinent to mention that there are cases in which psychotherapeutic help is required in order to overcome love losses. Well, it is one of the most painful and stressful experiences that human beings can experience, especially in consolidated relationships.
5 tips from Walter Riso on how to get away from your ex
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