6 ways to cheer up your partner when he’s upset with you

Sometimes, we do not know how to act after a couple argument so as not to make the situation worse. We show you how you can proceed to smooth things over and reach a reconciliation.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz on October 17, 2021.

Last update: October 17, 2021

Arguments are part of human relationships. Especially those of a couple, as it is an intimate bond. Sometimes these disagreements are minor and minor, but in other cases, the discomfort can last for hours or days. For this reason, we show you some guidelines to cheer up your partner when he is upset with you.

An unfortunate comment, a lack of attention at an important moment, the breach of a promise. There are many situations that can give rise to one of the members of the couple feeling upset, offended or hurt.

When this happens, we do not always know how to react so as not to worsen the environment. And even, sometimes pride stops us from taking the most obvious steps. Even so, there are several ways of proceeding that usually give a good result.

How to cheer up your partner when he is upset with you?

If you want to cheer up your partner when he is upset with you, you have to take into account the context in which the dispute originated. Do you know what the reason was? Is it of great importance or is it a trifle? Depending on these parameters, you can choose the option that best suits you.

1. Approach gestures

Sometimes, a simple gesture such as a smile or a look of affection is enough to convey to the other person that we are in a position to bring positions closer together. If it has been a while and both of you are calmer, this can be a good step to get out of the conflict and reach reconciliation.

And it is that it has been found that being distant and indifferent during the conflict can deteriorate the emotional connection and the bond.

Physical demonstrations or gestures may be enough to settle a fight.

2. Physical contact

Hugs have a powerful effect on people’s moods. Upon receiving them, our body releases oxytocin and we experience a pleasant feeling of tranquility, security and affection.

Thus, when words seem not to work, reaching out and putting your arms around your partner can help you convey what pride or shame prevents you from verbalizing. These types of acts are effective and valuable for those whose language of love is physical contact.

3. Stop the negative dynamic

Has it happened to you that, from a small grain of sand, a whole mountain is formed without knowing very well how? This is very common in relationships.

When the atmosphere is tense any gesture can be misinterpreted and the coldness or violence are escalating. Therefore, it is important that you make a conscious effort to stop this negative dynamic.

Even if your partner speaks to you in a cutting tone, respond with kindness. Even though the other person may not speak to you, continue to keep them in mind and speak to them from time to time.

In this way, you will be able to smooth rough edges. You will allow that, when she feels comfortable and prepared, she can add to that positive dynamic that you are initiating.



4. Ask for a sincere apology

When someone hurts or offends us, sometimes we just need to feel that they have realized the pain they have caused us and that they acknowledge their responsibility. By apologizing, you validate what your partner is feeling. Somehow, you repair the damage.

Thus, put your pride aside and tell him how sorry you are that you acted that way. That gesture will be of great value to the other person, even if they are not very receptive at first.

5. Peace offerings

Cook your partner’s favorite food, write him an affectionate message in a note, send him a funny image by text message, suggest that he carry out that plan that he likes so much. There are many ways to give a peace offering to convey regret and a desire to resolve the dispute.

No one knows your partner better than you, so it’s up to you to decide whether a funny, carefree approach or a loving, deep one will be more effective. In any case, with these initiatives you will be able to change their state of mind.



6. Have an assertive conversation

When the discussion has arisen for a compelling reason, it is not enough to take refuge in small approaches to restore the well-being of the bond. In these cases, the best option is an assertive conversation about it.

Try to clarify what has happened, what each of the parties feels and how you can prevent this from happening again in the future It is the way to move forward without pain or resentment.

Assertive communication is the way to solve deep problems in the couple.

Learn to deal with arguments in your relationship

Nobody likes fighting with a person they love. However, arguments are inevitable in the course of a relationship.

This does not imply that they should be violent, aggressive or disrespectful. Rather, they can be interesting turning points and places for dialogue that help strengthen the relationship. For this to happen, the following characteristics must be present:

  • Try to prevent fights whenever possible. Some couples enter into a dynamic of constant conflict, to such a degree that this becomes their common way of communicating. To prevent this from happening, get in the habit of resorting to other types of tools, such as patience, tolerance, understanding, and negotiation.
  • Maintain fluid communication with your partner. If there is openness and sincerity between the two, many discrepancies will be resolved at the moment and will not reach higher levels.
  • Respect is not negotiable. It doesn’t matter how angry or hurt you are with your partner; It is not valid to yell, insult, humiliate or belittle the other. If you are excessively impulsive, try to work on this aspect.
  • Get learning from every fight. If you keep in mind that you are both a team, you will stop viewing disputes as power struggles and begin to perceive them as opportunities to get to know and understand your partner better.

In short, the most appropriate way to cheer up your partner when he is upset with you depends on your personalities and the specific context in which you find yourself. However, sometimes small gestures carry big meanings and can make a difference. Don’t be afraid to take the first step.

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