6 keys to attract the attention of the person you like

Discover 6 tricks that you can use to get the attention of the person you like. Use attributes to your advantage and avoid some common mistakes.

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Elena Sanz on November 09, 2021.

Last update: 09 November, 2021

Flirting is an art unto itself. There is no exact recipe to attract the attention of the person you like, although of course we can find general elements that help during flirting. Taking advantage of your attributes, having patience and above all having security is undoubtedly your best cover letter when flirting.

If you don’t know how to get the attention of the person you like, we have prepared 6 tricks that you can use to achieve it. They are not secrets never before discovered, far from it, but are key strategies that work for all contexts. No matter the gender of that person, rest assured that if you apply them well, you will have half a game won.

6 tricks to get the attention of the person you like

There are no two ways to flirt with your crush the same. On the other hand, the intention can follow different paths. According to the researchers, men flirt out of a predominantly sexual interest, while women flirt to establish relationships or for fun.

An article published in Personality and Individual Differences In 2020 he found 47 traits that make flirting effective. The most important are non-verbal communication, intelligence, and kindness. The research found that women generally prefer a less direct approach, while men score more on appearance.

Be that as it may, our list of tips to get your crush’s attention takes all these variables into account and combines them with each other. Let’s see what you can do to make that person notice you.

1. Distinguish yourself from others

Knowing how to attract attention wisely in social situations and mentioning your own achievements are some ways to stand out when flirting.

The first thing you have to do to get the attention of the person you like is to distinguish yourself from others. Do not expect him or her to notice you if they do not know who you are, what your name is or what you do if they do not want to distinguish your face. Staying within the pack is definitely something you should avoid, and then choose to stand out from the pack.



If you have already spoken with that person, what you have to do is increase the amount of moments or time that you spend together. Do not do it in a brusque way or that seems very forced, but enough so that you can distinguish yourself. If you haven’t talked to her yet, try to create a good first impression. Like everything in life, the first impression is very important.

2. Take the initiative

Following the ideas above, try to take the initiative. Don’t always expect she or he to be the one to speak, propose something, or lead the conversation. Again, avoid being too blunt about it, and do so by balancing interest to generate some doubt and expectation.



It is in the ambivalence of being direct and reserved that the art of flirting is found. If you are very direct and that person is not interested, you may end up ruining it. If you show disinterest, you will not be able to get their attention. There are countless times when you can take the initiative to speak or be with that person, both in person and virtually.

3. Show security

Confidence when flirting is very important. No matter how different you are from others or in what way you have taken the initiative, if you do not have confidence in yourself the flirting will fall apart. You must be sure of your attributes, your strategies, your intelligence and your goals. An insecure attitude is not attractive at all, apart from all of the above.

But this is not all. A feeling of insecurity can in turn translate into inferiority. In this sense, you will believe that you are not good enough for that person. You are thus anticipating the events, which can condition the motivation that permeates the flirtation. Raise the flag of safety and let him or her have the final say.

4. Use humor

A study published in Communication Quarterly in 2010 determined that there are five types of flirting: physical, traditional, sincere, courteous and playful. Each of these has a quota of effectiveness depending on the tastes of that person, although the best thing you can do is apply a little of all to your strategy. In this sense, humor cannot be left out.

Humor is a great help to break the ice, connect with that person and make them laugh. Studies and research do not fail to point out the role of laughter as a component of satisfaction in relationships. First of all, you must use humor wisely, so you avoid making inappropriate comments.

5. Take care of your physical appearance

Regardless of what weighs more when it comes to formalizing a relationship, the physical appearance is the first thing that attracts attention. Taking care of your body image is key when it comes to flirting.

Physical appearance is very important to get the attention of the person you like. After all, you will never be able to distinguish yourself from others, and position yourself as an attractive option, if you do not use physical attributes to your advantage. Keep in mind that it is the first thing we see of a person, and it is what often makes us interested in them.

In this sense, try to wear clothes that highlight your contour, always wear a little perfume, take care of the appearance of your hair, use a little makeup, maintain good hygiene and follow other basic premises. A perfume worn in the right place and the ideal garment can be enough to attract the attention of the person you like.

6. Be yourself

Lastly, it is very important that you be yourself during flirting. It is not necessary that you bare your entire personality when flirting, but the one you expose during the interaction is a face of her. If you pretend to be someone you are not, and that person’s interest goes to a new level, sooner or later they will discover that you have not been entirely honest with them.

For example, using an excess of humor when deep down you do not enjoy it so much, showing interests that do not correspond to yours or showing off things that you do not have. Sincerity is a very important card, at least it is if your intentions are to establish a relationship and not just an occasional meeting.

Of course, there are dozens of additional strategies: make physical contact whenever you can, use gestural communication, show interest in what you do, be detailed and so on. The important thing is not to exaggerate all the strategies, or failing that, don’t seem desperate. The latter is what you want to avoid, as it says more about you than anything else.

It might interest you …