5 tips to overcome the feeling of guilt when ending a relationship

Have you decided to break up with your partner, but now you feel guilty? In this article you will discover what you can do to overcome it. We hope it helps you!

Last update: December 15, 2021

You have decided to put an end to it, but you are not able to get rid of the feeling of guilt when you end the relationship. The truth is that it is not easy. It requires great courage and tact to do the least harm to the other. However, this does not make you feel better.

The first thing you should be clear about is that it is totally normal for you to feel this way. It was you who made the decision to end the relationship and your partner may not like this. Perhaps he was very sad or, in the worst case scenario, he berated you that the problem had to do with you. Be that as it may, you can overcome that guilt.

Why does the feeling of guilt appear?

Guilt is a very human feeling. Article Guilt and forgiveness in psychotherapy defines it as the attribution to a human agent of the cause of an evil. That human agent can be yourself, so you blame yourself for having made a decision that we are sure you have pondered for a while.

You feel responsible for what you are making the woman who is no longer your partner live and that generates obsessive thoughts. Guilt can be detrimental if the other person insists on trying again, as you may say yes when you are not really sorry. Therefore, it is important that you know how to manage this feeling properly.

Tips to overcome guilt

There are many tips for overcoming guilt after ending a relationship, but we have compiled a few that we consider to be the most important and effective. It’s not easy to get rid of this feeling and you may need professional help.

But first, you will see that there are things you can do to feel better and eliminate guilt from your life.

Breakups can lead to guilt. Learning to manage this feeling is necessary to move forward.

1. Go back to the reasons that led you to make the decision

It is normal for you to lose perspective when this feeling approaches you without compassion. Therefore, it is very important that you think again about the reasons that led you to make the decision to end the relationship.

This will calm you down, allow you to breathe and get on with your life. If you want, you can write them down in a notebook to read when guilt approaches you.

2. Change the feeling of guilt for that of responsibility

This is not easy to do, but It is important that you change the blame for the responsibility. You must know what your feelings are and make a decision about it.

Could you really forgive yourself for being with someone you no longer love? This is even worse, so he reflects on that guilt.

It is clear that it is not to your liking to see that that person with whom you have shared so many moments suffers. However, you have done nothing wrong.

3. Stop your obsessive thoughts

Perhaps you have never stopped to analyze your thoughts, but many of them are negative. “Look what you’ve done, you’re a bad person, your partner loved you, you’ve decided to lose her”.

When these ideas block your mind the best thing you can do is stop your thoughts. A good way to do it is to say “Enough” when you detect that this is happening. Although practicing meditation can also be of great help.

4. Don’t take charge of your partner’s feelings

To overcome the feeling of guilt when ending a relationship you should avoid taking charge of your partner’s feelings. They are not your responsibility.

Nobody likes to be left; This is something that usually takes by surprise and is not pleasant. But that doesn’t mean that you should take responsibility for it. To make this easier for you, the following advice is essential.

5. Zero contact

Zero contact is a way to overcome the breakdown in a relationship or emotional dependence, as the psychologist Silvia Congost explains. It is about eliminating the one your partner was from your social networks, lock it in the WhatsApp, see nothing of her.

This will not only help you, but your now ex-partner as well. It will allow you to heal sooner and you can better deal with guilt.

Carrying out a zero-contact routine with your ex is beneficial for both of you. Do not follow the other on social networks and delete the virtual contact.

The feeling of guilt when ending a relationship is to be expected

Overcoming the feeling of guilt when ending a relationship is not easy, but it is not impossible either. It only takes patience, calm and the possibility of reflecting on what has happened.

Sometimes, despite the appearance of guilt, it is better to break up than to stay, since you would be doing more harm to the other person. What is the hardest thing for you to put an end to a relationship?

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