5 tips to get out of the friendzone

Being in the friend zone can involve feelings of frustration and pain. How to deal with it? Here are some tips.

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Elena Sanz on October 08, 2021.

Last update: 08 October, 2021

The concept of “Friendzone” literally means “friend zone.” Surely, at some point you have had the unpleasant experience of being in that area. In addition, you will know that the most difficult thing is to get out of it. How to do it? This time we collect some useful tips.

But first … do you have any idea when they started talking about the friendzone? As well, It was in 1994 in the famous series Friends. Joey, one of the protagonists, mentioned in one chapter that he was in that “friend zone” with respect to Rachel (another of the characters). Since then, the term became popular around the world, and it is still used today.

What is the friendzone?

The friendzone it is a situation in which one person is in love, but the other is not. This is a complicated circumstance, since the relationship usually begins as a friendship and, little by little, one of the involved wants to move to another level.

What are the challenges that appear? If you’ve been to the friendzone, you will know without any doubt. As soon as you declare yourself, you know that friendship is going to change. You will have to withdraw if you are not reciprocated and, in most cases, the relationship tends to cool down.

Sometimes, so that this does not happen, you choose not to say anything and stay in that zone. However, if the situation is not managed properly, it can become painful.

The problem is that some behaviors can give you illusions, since You mistake them for signs of love or desire. Over time, this begins to expand and can become a breaking point in the relationship with the other person.

Love is not always reciprocated by the other person, even if there is a strong friendship bond. Hence the call arises friendzone.


How do you know if you are in the friendzone?

You may be in the friendzone without you knowing. Your desire for the other person can cause you to overlook some revealing phrases that indicate that your friend does not feel the same about you. Here are some of them:

  • “I wish I found someone who was like you”. He’s referring to having a relationship with someone, but it’s not you! He only sees you as a friend.
  • “Would you like to go to the movies? Great, I’m going to call the others to sign up ». He does not seek to make plans alone as if you were his partner because you are not.
  • “I love you too, but as a friend.” When you try to get him to express your feelings for you, it makes it clear that you are just a friend.

Tips for getting out of the friendzone

Be in the friendzone It is not pleasant and therefore it is important that you know how to get out as soon as possible. It won’t be easy, but You must be clear that you can meet someone who does see you as a couple. Sometimes falling in love prevents you from seeing further, so you think that there is no one else.

1. Communicate what you feel

It is the most complicated advice. And it is that talking about your feelings is difficult, since there are high probabilities of suffering a rejection. However, this is the first step out of the friendzone. Therefore, be brave and talk to that person about your feelings. If they tell you they don’t feel the same, then that’s it!

Will the relationship change? This will depend a bit on how you both are. As soon as things are clear, it doesn’t have to affect the friendship. However, you may need some space, as it is normal for you to be sore.

2. Meet new people

Meeting new people will help you discover that there are more people you may like. You do not have to remain focused on your friend who does not correspond to you. So go out to party, sign up for a course that you like and open yourself up to meet other people. In less time than you think, you will have gotten out of that friendzone so painful.



3. Stop trying to please

When you are in love with a friend, it is very possible that you try to please him, tell everyone yes, please him. Of course, this is nothing positive for you, since that friend can abuse all this and use you for their own benefit.

For example, he may want you to always pay yourself or do favors for him that prevent you from having time for yourself. So that, stop trying to please and start saying “no”. In this way, you will also be learning to relate in a healthier way.

4. Start prioritizing yourself

To get out of the friendzone you must start prioritizing your needs. If your crush needs a favor, think about whether you have something to do first.. On the other hand, if you have already met other friends, do not leave them stranded to meet the one you like so much.

A strong self-esteem is decisive for not suffering due to the friendzone. Therefore, you have to prioritize your own needs.

5. Seek help

Being in the friend zone can throw your self-esteem through the roof. Either because you don’t feel valuable or because you think that no one likes you, your security and self-confidence will end up affected. In these cases, seeking psychological help is essential. Thus, you will find a way to manage these emotions without being harmed.

What should you remember?

Get out of the friendzone It may not be easy, but it is not impossible either. Do not try to force things, even if the attraction for that person is strong. You have to prioritize your own needs and well-being. In this way, doors can be opened to find reciprocated loves.

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