Self-confidence allows you to have security of you in the different functional aspects of life. It is a part of your internal spirit that constitutes the basis of emotional balance, to better face tasks, challenges and permanently improve yourself.
The lack of trust limit potential, because it builds a wall between who you are and what you want to be. It is in that gap of absence of positive self-perception of yourself that you lose, because you allow other types of restrictive stimuli to take their place.
For example, if you have grown up in oppressive environments, submission, lack of value in your childhood, losses and anguish not overcome, it is possible that trust is not present in the appropriate way.
The good news is that self-assurance based on self-confidence is a skill; and as such, it can be trained and developed.
Benefits of trusting yourself
one. Greater autonomy to decide
two. Sense of enjoyment
3. Improve satisfaction about who you are and what you can achieve
Four. You face problems decisively
5. Decrease doubts about your potential
6. Help balance your lifestyle from the real thing to what you want
The origin is in an emotion
The emotion of fear it is transversal to the lack of trust. It is possible that in the face of certain internal or external stimuli, your worth decreases so much that you feel little thing and think that you are not capable of facing them. However, fear can be a motor to propel you beyond that invisible barrier to project yourself beyond limitation.
The key is in to take action. Humans permanently revive the reptilian instinct to face or escape from situations: in the case of lack of security and self-confidence, it is the latter that prevails, putting all kinds of excuses and considerations that limit your expansion beyond the known or usual area.
Feeling fear is normal. The challenge appears when you limit and restrict all kinds of deployment and development. The origin of fear in the absence of self-confidence can be total, you feel totally annulled to make decisions, however minimal they may be; or partial, in certain situations or stimuli is where the lack of security manifests itself.
Generally, there are two huge drivers of this limitation, and they are:
1. The fear of failure
People with the greatest internal indecision are those who fantasize negatively most of the time. Since fear is an internal construction on an apparently real external expectation (in your mind), it is possible to deconstruct it to reconvert it into something pro-positive that propels you forward. Per day we have approximately 12,000 internal dialogues, when we speak to ourselves. Start by observing that self-talk, detecting what kind of words you say to yourself, and with what levels of certainty you pay attention to it and act accordingly.
In general, the fear of failure feels like a very powerful emotion that blocks, stagnates and limits all your actions; So it is possible to change the chains of beliefs that you have inside, to change them for other more functional ones to achieve your goals and objectives.
two.Recurring negative thoughts
We have about 60,000 thoughts a day; Of those, there are people who think negative 90% of the day, so it is possible to imagine the result they get in their lives.
One of the biggest problems is these failure warnings that they say internally; which, as a result, you generate self-fulfilling prophecies. That is to say, through the emotions and feelings of your subconscious mind, you bring what you think to reality, and there, you simply lose.
It is possible to train to disarm that unconscious cognitive bias of thinking negative almost all the time, to arrive at a certain functional neutrality so that you also boost your potential instead of restricting it.
5 resources to be a confident person
To start having more confidence in yourself, here is a toolbox to practice daily; they don't take too long and you will see results if you do it continuously:
1. Body posture
The upright posture and shoulders back is known as the superhero or heroine pose. In fact, in all cartoons and comics you will find them with this "super power." At Harvard University, they experimented with 42 participants. One group was asked to hold that triumphant posture for two minutes, and another a defeated posture (shoulders slumped, beaten, forward, head down). The result showed that those with the upright posture revealed feelings of power, strength, enthusiasm and confidence; while the other group stated feeling dejected, anguish, low self-esteem, low performance.
Tools: Before a stressful or difficult situation, do the superhero or heroine pose for 3 minutes, breathing slowly and filling your full capacity with air. It also works to open your arms as if you were to win a marathon, do repeated jumps about ten times as if celebrating; stretch your spine with your arms up under the shower; and sing or whistle happily at all times where feasible.
2. Make decisions
A decisive factor in gaining self-confidence is the ability to decide. Many people find it difficult to achieve it, since it implies a risk: things may or may not turn out so well.
Tools: start with small decisions until you acquire the skill to choose the best options; prevent others from choosing for you (for example, food in a restaurant); analyze, but do not delay the decision, which is called "paralysis by analysis"; think about the worst thing that can happen regarding the decision you make (in general the dire consequences are the product of fantasy, rather than reality).
3. Detect which are your insecurity buttons and overcome them
We all have some internal keys that, when activated, make us feel especially insecure. If we can detect them, we will have overcome these invisible barriers that hinder our security.
Tools: works with a psychotherapist in very limiting cases, since it will be necessary to dive into the unconscious. In other situations, a coach Experienced or an expert in neurolinguistic programming can help clear up and re-establish the interrupted circuit of internal insecurity to support you in your strengths.
4. Focus on the achievements, instead of the failures of your life
A frequent view of insecure people is that they focus too much on failures or catastrophic situations.
Tools: make a daily list of small achievements (there always are); detects advances in minimal aspects to reinforce the brain's reward center – the place of self-recognition; work on your limiting mental models to detect beliefs and paradigms that may be limiting your security.
5. Reassess the stress that lowers your self-confidence:
Undoubtedly, the lack of self-confidence is a source of stress. It is possible that you feel that you diminish yourself in life situations, and the lack of assertiveness to act appears.
Tools: Tricks your brain with overpowering words knowing that what you need to manage is fear (even if it seems strange, talk to him and say directly: “I know, it's you, the fear that wants to stop me. You won't get it this time. "). When you do it and put words to it, that emotion loses power. Work with affirmations: they are an excellent tool to move forward (examples: "I can", "I am valuable and I succeed in this and any situation that arises", "I love and accept myself as I am"). Change the words that describe the emotion you feel: for example, instead of saying “I'm panicking about this meeting with my boss " say forcefully and internally: "I am excited to be able to have the meeting with my boss, and I will take this experience to learn and advance".
These formulas change the biochemistry of your body, and, therefore, the result you are going to obtain.