5 reasons not to forgive an infidelity

Infidelity undermines trust, ends complicity, compromises, intrudes on intimacy, brings suffering and betrayal. Therefore, when it exists, it is normal for the other member of the couple to have to weigh if you decide not to forgive an infidelity.

In effect, you break the bases of a relationship, it is logical that the time comes to consider whether it is worth continuing with the relationship or, on the contrary, it is better to give it a final point. In this article, we give you 5 reasons why an infidelity can damage your relationship.

Infidelity

Many factors of different nature can lead a person to be unfaithful. However, the result is the same: a deep wound in the relationship. Because infidelity is a form of betrayal, almost an "attack" against the bases of commitment and mutual trust.

In this way, the question arises, in the deceived person, of whether he should forgive or not. Because, without a doubt, she is not obliged to continue with the relationship after an infidelity. It is in your hand to make an important decision after weighing the pros and cons of both options. It is perfectly legitimized to say "it's over".

Likewise, most of the time the person who has been unfaithful asks for forgiveness and, after that, pretends that everything continues as it was. However, it can not be again. The trust has been betrayed and, as the historian Nicolae Lorga explained, "trust is only lost once".

Therefore, there are many reasons to end a relationship after an infidelity. Next, we present 5 of them.

Sexually transmitted diseases

One of the risks of infidelity is that a sexual relationship has been committed without protection.

The promiscuity and Sex without means of protection can become really dangerous. In fact, many sexually transmitted diseases such as syphilis, gonorrhea, HIV or genital herpes can spread to one another.

So, you must bear in mind that the person who has been unfaithful has not only betrayed you emotionally, but also has not taken into account your integrity and your health. That is, his immaturity and his sexual need have been superior to the need to care for and protect the other person with whom he is committed.

Also, if you are not sure that your partner is going to change and do you think he will continue to be unfaithful in the future, you must take this point into account: Your health first and foremost.

We recommend you read: Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs), what are we talking about?

Reasons not to forgive an infidelity: Wound in the self-esteem

Many people tend to be blamed for the infidelity committed by their partner. In fact, it is often the case of some men (or women) who blame their partners after being infidels: sex is not the same, we have fallen into the routine, etc.

In any case, it is a form of manipulation and not to assume the consequences of an immature and selfish personal choice. No one is guilty of another person being unfaithful.

Consequently, the deceived person can suffer such a wound in his self-esteem that he may even feel guilty about infidelity. Therefore, you must bear in mind that forgiving an infidelity supposes have to live with that wound, recover from it and learn to see things clearly.

On the other hand, the wound may make you wake up and understand that it is not worth the pain and feeling devalued when the selfishness and the immaturity of the other are exclusively guilty. Because if you feel guilty about the acts of others, then it is better to put an end to it and give yourself time.

Can not be trusted again after an infidelity

An infidelity destroys the foundations of trust and respect generated in the relationship.

We had explained that trust is one of the fundamental pillars of a relationship. An infidelity breaks and destroys this base, undermines what for a long time has been created with dedication and effort. Because a relationship is not found, it is built.

In this sense, an infidelity is almost a contempt against everything that has been done together for so long. It has not been taken into account, it has not been enough to not give in to caprice or desire.

Also, how to re-trust a person who has been unfaithful? Once trust is broken, it is very difficult to recover it again. Infidelity will always be a shadow that lurks.

We recommend you read: How to repair a relationship after an infidelity

You can forgive, but do not forget

As we know, It is one thing to forgive and quite another to forget. In addition, precisely events as painful as infidelity, can rarely be erased from memory. It is one of the reasons why regaining confidence is so complicated.

Therefore, you should bear in mind that surely you will never be able to forget that you have been unfaithful. In this way, reproach can always arise, along with discomfort, pain, hurt and anger. Maybe the relationship will never be what it once was.

Because it is likely that an infidelity can be overcome from the rational point of view. However, from the emotional point of view things are more complicated.

Reasons not to forgive an infidelity: it can happen again

After an infidelity, mistrust will undermine our pride and self-esteem, thinking about whether it will happen again in the future.

An unfaithful person is very likely to be more than once. As the sexologist Tracey Cox explains in Hot Relationships: How to have oneIf someone has developed a "cheating" pattern in life, it is very likely that he will continue to do so.

In addition, once the trust is destroyed, the unfaithful person promises that "he will not do it again" are just words in the air. Mistrust will reign in the relationship and may the second blow is even harder for the pride, dignity and self-esteem of the deceived person.

As you have seen, it is very difficult for the relationship and the people who compose it to remain the same after infidelity. Likewise, the deceived person may not be able to regain trust in the other. And it is not obligated to do so.

Therefore, when considering whether you should forgive an infidelity or not, keep in mind that you are not guilty of infidelity and that, above all, You must recover and give yourself time and space to do it. Because, really, they have hurt you based on immaturity, selfishness and lack of respect.

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