5 keys and tips to spend more quality time as a couple

Daily obligations make spending quality time with your partner difficult. However, doing so is the best guarantee of long-term happiness. We tell you how to achieve it!

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Last update: May 13, 2022

When we start to meet someone who excites us, we do everything possible to find shared moments. Nevertheless, then we relax, we take the relationship for granted and we neglect the bond. The fact of formalizing a couple does not mean that we can ignore each other and that it will continue its course; on the contrary, we have to cultivate it. For this reason, we want to propose some keys to spend more quality time as a couple.

This is a fundamental element for the bond to prosper and both members to be satisfied. And it is that it is thanks to shared time that emotional closeness is created, intimacy is enhanced and it grows at the same time. These moments serve to connect and to be able to solve problems and discrepancies.

It is possible that the personal obligations of each one make it difficult to find moments alone in the day to day. Even if you live together, your time together probably isn’t of the quality it should be. However, there are some tips that can help you.

1. Decide to spend more quality time together

This is a critical first step that we overlook. And it is that working on the relationship is a daily decision.

If we let ourselves be carried away by inertia, it is possible that we will never find a hole in the agenda for that appointment or that conversation that we have been postponing. Therefore, the main thing is become aware of the importance and necessity of spending time together.

Once you place your partner and your relationship as a priority, and realize that you have to nurture that love on a daily basis, it will be easier for you to find the times to do it. Do not wait for the routine to deteriorate the bond so much that it is already too late.

The moment to share as a couple must be created and sought from the firm decision of both.


2. Establish routines

Routines can become great allies regarding the previous objective. In this way, if certain plans or activities are integrated into the daily life, it will not be necessary to make an effort to find that shared moment.

Keep in mind that although we seek to spend quality time together, quantity is also important. Sharing everyday life forges and strengthens ties, and it is very positive to know how to take advantage of this possibility.

You can, for example, decide to have dinner together every day or have a relaxed chat for a while before going to bed. Even if it’s a few minutes, you are dedicating them only to you and this will make a difference.

Besides, it is important to go out or plan appointments at least once or twice a month. These spaces will be destined to interrupt the routine, disconnect from obligations and connect with the partner. Even if you have children, try to meet this goal, as it is very common for parenthood to affect and alienate the couple.

3. Offer attention and presence

If you want to spend more quality time as a couple, there is a maxim that you must follow: out distractions. When you are together, turn off the television, silence the mobile phone and focus all your attention on the other. It is sad to see so many couples having dinner together and glued to the screens, without saying a word.

In these circumstances, timeshare is of little use, since we need to feel seen and heard by the other. Even if there is nothing to say, offering presence and mindfulness to that shared moment makes a difference. A look, a smile, a caress are much more valuable than several hours together in total emotional distance.

4. Have quality conversations

There are many couples who, although they spend the whole day together, do not feel that they have managed to connect with the other. And this is due to the poor conversations they hold.

Talking about the weather, children, what to eat the next day, is not significant when it comes to creating intimacy. To achieve this, there must be vulnerability, self-disclosure and depth.

If you want to get closer to your partner, share your dreams and desires, your fears and concerns, make him part of your expectations and opinions. Show yourself as you are; your true self. Even if this scares you.

Be willing to know, understand and embrace the essence of the other. Listen carefully, ask relevant questions, offer support and validation to their emotions.

It is this dynamic that reinforces love and allows us to understand each other, negotiate and empathize. Thus, avoid trivial topics and don’t be afraid to dig deeper.



5. Choose appropriate activities to spend more quality time as a couple

Finally, it is advisable not to neglect the activities in which that timeshare is going to be invested. Any daily moment (a dinner, a talk or simply going shopping together), if lived with presence, can become a quality space. However, it is advisable that the plans are diverse and stimulating.

Thus, you can go on a short trip or getaway together, sign up for a course or class of your interest, go listen to a music group or play sports outdoors. Everything will depend on the tastes of both; yes, there must be room for the preferences of both.

When the couple is interested in our hobbies and is encouraged to share them, this makes us feel special, valued and considered. Similarly, when we do the same for each other, we are showing them how much we care.

By doing fun and enjoyable activities with your partner we are associating your person to those positive feelings. Therefore, the affinity will increase and each time we will want more and it will be more pleasant for us to be by his side.

Sharing activities that are pleasurable for both of you is a way to strengthen the bond.

In the couple not everything is done

In short, spending more quality time as a couple is a decision and a goal for which both of you must work. It will not always be easy and sometimes it will be tempting to let inertia take over.

The mistake of thinking that “everything is done” it is frequent. However, continuing to cultivate passion and intimacy is the best guarantee of long-term satisfaction.

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