4 tips to trust my partner from a distance

Maintaining a long-distance relationship is a challenge that can only be overcome with communication and trust. Discover some tips on this.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz on June 09, 2021.

Last update: June 09, 2021

Having a long distance relationship today is much easier than a few decades ago. And we now have a multitude of means that allow us to communicate with a loved one who lives far away. However, physical separation continues to pose a challenge that can only be overcome with communication and maturity. For this reason, we want to propose some guidelines that will help you trust your partner from a distance.

Neither messages, video calls nor telephone conversations can replace the physical contact and company that those who live close to their partner obtain. When distance gets in the way, fears, insecurities and reproaches can arise.

Knowing that our partner cannot accompany us on a weekend outing, sleep next to us, or hug us after a bad day can make us feel frustrated and dissatisfied with the relationship. However, With trust as a base, it is possible to maintain a solid bond at a distance and enjoy it. We tell you how to achieve it.

1. Evaluate the link

To trust your partner from a distance, it is important that you are clear about some aspects from the beginning. For example, ask yourself if this relationship is healthy and positive, if it nurtures and enriches you, if there is trust and if you are both able to communicate openly and with respect.

Evaluate how to resolve conflicts, to express affection and offer support. If you detect deficiencies or areas for improvement, try to work on them with your partner from this moment on.

Distance can enhance the most positive aspects, but also the negative ones. It is undeniable that it is a test for the bond and the stronger it is when facing physical separation, the easier it will be to overcome the challenges.

Long distance relationships pose a challenge that puts communication skills to the test.

2. Adapt to change

All relationships are transformed over time, with the succession of events and the individual growth of each of its members. However, maintaining a relationship at a distance forces to rethink the dynamics. It is important that you keep this reality in mind and that both of you lay the foundations of this state.

They will not be able to see each other every day, spend weekends together, or share daily activities. Each one will have to continue building and leading their own life. This does not suppose an offense, a betrayal or a lack of respect towards the other. If you allow yourself to flow with this change rather than resist, you can enrich yourself with the experience.

3. Get involved in your partner's life

Even if you are not physically together, it is still important that you cultivate intimacy, complicity and commitment. For it, be sure to share with your partner the evolution of your day to day. Tell him how your work went, the plan you made with your friends, or that new book you started reading.

Also take an interest in the details of his life. These conversations contribute to creating an emotional closeness and help the couple to continue being part of the other's daily life.

4. Make sure you have common goals

For a long distance relationship to be able to stay in time it is necessary that both people share common goals and objectives. If there is a date of return, a plan to live together again or, at least, the intention to shorten distances at a certain time, the physical distance is much more bearable.

The two of you can work together to see that goal met. In the same way, it is very positive to set appointments or trips on a regular basis, within the possibilities of both.

If one of you is not willing to make the time and financial sacrifice that travel may entail, or does not anticipate closing the gap in the future, it is difficult for the link to be maintained in the long term.

Find out more: Topics that you should discuss regularly as a couple

Tips for managing jealousy in a long distance relationship

Jealousy is undoubtedly one of the main problems you can find. Thus, to trust your partner at a distance, you have to work on security in yourself, in the other person and in the bond itself. For this you can help yourself with the following tips.

Practice assertive communication

Because they are far away, they may experience a higher level of conflict or misunderstanding. Therefore, it is essential that they manage to communicate frequently, fluently and respectfully.

Share your fears or concerns with your partner, Express yourself sincerely and make clear requests. Similarly, listen to their opinions and needs. Only in this way will you be able to clarify, establish limits and negotiate from love and respect.

Support your partner's growth

When the person you love lives in another place, it is logical and expected that they build a life there, meet people, take on projects and enjoy the environment in which they are. However, this can arouse insecurity and a need for control.

If this happens to you, remember that a relationship is based on seeking the welfare of the other. You have to enjoy his achievements and accompany him in his difficult moments. Limiting the freedom of that person in their day to day, monitoring them or asking for constant explanations will only achieve distancing.

Jealousy is the hardest part of a long distance relationship. Constantly asking for explanations only erodes the bond.

Keep reading: Mistrust in a couple: what to do when one does not trust the other

Work on you

When you give the other person a central role in your life and they are far away, you are much more likely to experience dissatisfaction, frustration, jealousy and insecurity. That is why it is important that you take the opportunity to work on yourself, develop your professional career, enjoy your friendships or undertake new projects.

This will increase your self-esteem and self-confidence, It will prevent you from perceiving the growth of the other as a betrayal and will help enrich the conversations you have with your partner, as both will have news to share.

Trusting your partner from a distance is teamwork

Although trusting your partner from a distance can be challenging, this temporary situation will also bring different benefits. Contrary to what we may believe, couples who are in a distant relationship can develop deeper levels of intimacy and commitment, since they have to make a choice and conscious daily work to cultivate that bond.

In addition, this period allows to refresh the relationship, put it in value and increase the illusion of both. In short, developing trust is a task for two that is based on dialogue and respect for the other and their place in our lives. If you want your long-distance relationship to work, remember that you are working as a team.

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