12 tips to learn to be selfless
Is it possible to put the needs of others before our own? Although it seems complicated, being disinterested starts with small gestures that, without chasing something in return, provide spontaneous satisfaction and make you friendlier.
One of the definitions that the Royal Spanish Academy requires of disinterest is the following: "Detachment from all personal, close or remote benefits". Starting from there, it is worth asking yourself how many times you act without thinking only about what you want, what suits you or what makes you feel good.
Why is it important to develop this thinking?
Be disinterested allows you to better understand the world from someone else's shoes, since you visualize problems, attitudes and reactions from another perspective. It is not easy to develop the tendency to help without thinking about yourself first, but it is welcome.
According to the book by Allan Luks and Peggy Payne, "The Healing Power of Doing Good: The Health and Spiritual Benefits of Helping Others," disinterest translates into less stress and greater emotional balance.
Also, satisfaction is not momentary, but rather it is presented every time you remember the act of solidarity. Increasing your self-esteem, confidence and socializing at the same time that you give something back to your environment adds to your favor.
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Tips for being selfless
Whenever it is in your hands, take a few minutes to reflect on how to support without feeding the ego. Do you think it is difficult? By applying the following tips you could simplify it.
1. Be empathetic
Being disinterested goes beyond your own thoughts, to focus only on your emotions and what you want. Put aside the self-absorption, give room to listen and to understand others, to know what saddens them and what their joys are. So you could add a little light to their lives.
2. Hear more and talk less
One way to show interest in someone is by listening to them, especially if you want to share an achievement or vent your problems.
Ask him how his day was, give him the opportunity to express himself and relieve burdens. You will see that in the course of the talk he will also want to know about you.
3. Don't criticize
Instead of highlighting the bad, edify. There are ways of saying things and, if the opinion is not constructive, it is better to save it. Emphasize what is good for him and encourage him.
4. Love yourself
It is impossible to love others if we do not love each other. Real selflessness begins when we give ourselves love and from there, we love others. One way to love ourselves is to be grateful for who we are.
5. It is not always good to stand out
It is not bad to be generous; the unpleasant thing is to exalt oneself or to claim rewards for kindness. Whenever you do any altruistic work or help those who need it, let the facts speak for themselves. That makes them more special.
6. Give what you want for yourself
Start with your family offering a little of your dessert, for example. Small exercises pave the way for bigger gestures. It is not mandatory to please another, but once you practice it you understand how good it feels.
7. Cultipatience goes
Those who are disinterested tend to practice patience, a desirable quality to avoid frustrations or rages. If you are in a row do not despair to advance; your turn will come.
It is useless to bother with those in front of you; remember that it could be you. Make sure the time passes by initiating a conversation; it is more entertaining for everyone.
8. Say less "no"
Fill more say a "Yes". In a situation that does not involve risks or dangers and will bring happiness and joy, You have to be positive. Usually, we have something to give or how to help and if it is of great significance to those who need it, why not do it?
9. Let it flow
Being in control of what happens is not so important. You gain more when you let the flow and are surprised by what the path to the goal holds. Along the way you will see how rewarding it is to help.
10. Reflect on your behavior
Take time to reflect on your habits, thoughts, and actions. Review the way you treat yourself and other people. Analyze if you could give or love more.
But do not do it as punishment, but to make it better the next day. Loving-kindness meditation is recommended by some psychologists in order to work on the emotional.
11. Pursue a model of selflessness
Imitate the example of a figure that you admire and perceive as disinterested. See the activities carried out in favor of third parties and the effects. It would be a good example to follow.
12. Forgive me from my heart
If they ask for your forgiveness, don't hold a grudge. Visualizing what happened from another perspective helps to be compassionate. It is not easy to excuse those who hurt us, but it is a great step towards selflessness and peaceful coexistence.
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The value of being selfless
Being disinterested is treating others as you would like them to treat you, without hurting for personal gain. Its value is evidenced in personal growth and detachment for the welfare of others.
Don't let a specific time come for action. Act generously on a daily basis. On the train, offer a seat to an elderly or pregnant woman, donate the clothes that you no longer use, keep the elevator door open for someone to go up, when entering a place say hello and wish a good day.
These everyday gestures feed your mind, spirit, and emotions, because you make them from the heart without aiming for recognition.
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